Busy and Biding my Time
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Posted:Sep 26, 2010 9:25 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 6:22 pm 34153 Views
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I was very busy this weekend and so had no time for a posting on my blog. However, i have found the time ot keep up with my edging. Mistress has also been very busy. She has not had the time to play with me recently but when She does, i want to be sure that She finds me as horny and needy as She could wish.
And so i have been edging and using my pump in the evenings: quietly tormenting myself as she would wish even though She is not here to enjoy it. She will be pleased when i tell Her and i enjoy thinking of Her watching as i go through action...bringing myself to the edge of cumming and then stopping short of the release. i am just filling time, waiting for Her and building up the need. When She comes to find me again, She must find me in need.
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Other Play and Projects
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Posted:Sep 24, 2010 6:50 pm
Last Updated:Sep 28, 2010 12:47 am 33973 Views
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The problem with the butt plug proved to be only a small tear in the skin. While that heals there are plenty of other options for play.
For one thing, i need to complete work on my new electrodes. The steel rings worked very well and provided intense sensations but the connections to the box were poor. i have the material for new connectors. The new connectors should provide a reliable level of power and greater ease of use. They will use aligator clips as the primary means of connection so that they can clamp onto my penis plug and the nJoy plug solidly and turn them into electrodes as well. In the past, i have used the flexy rubber electrodes wrapped around these items to transfer power but this has never been very satisactory. The steel to steel connection should provide much more of a jolt.
i also hope to put together a sort of stocks for my cock and balls that will combine restraint with electro-shock. It is my intention to use this in combination with an Erostek 312 i am ordering and ice locks for a little self-bondage fun. The unit should incorporate a series of shackles that lock over my cock and a ball crusher to hold me in place. (Mistress likes the idea of a ball crusher.) Eletrodes will be placed in various places to allow for different connection opportunities. The unit should also include a solidly mounted electric butt plug that will further limit my movement. There will also be connection points for cuffs. This is where the ice locks come in. The cuffs will be contected by a series of rings that stack on top of each other. A cylinder of ice will slide between the rings and hold them in place until it melts. Depending on the size of the ice cylinder i could be trapped there for several minutes or several hours. i will need to check the melt rate of different diameters of ice cylinders before i can complete this part of the design.
It is good to have hobbies, is it note...
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Oh darn...
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Posted:Sep 23, 2010 9:46 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 6:22 pm 33201 Views
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Well...safety first...
It seems i have been a little too enthusiastic with the butt plug and so i have to ease up and figure out what i have done. i do not believe that it is anything serious but there were a few spots of blood and some soreness after the last session and so we will let things be for a while.
Anyway, there are other ways to play...
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Still Not Getting It
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Posted:Sep 22, 2010 5:51 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 6:22 pm 33095 Views
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Well, last night was my second serious attempt at milking. i say "serious" but if you imagine the scene the picture us more than a little ridiculous: a big old middle aged man with his middle finger fucking in and out of his own ass. It is more humiliating that anything else. Still, it is something that Mistress wants done and so it will be done or at least attempted. i do not want to give the impression that i am not enjoying it. Misress has taught me the joys of anal play, for which i am grateful, and all this backdoor fun is in fact enjoyable. However, it has yet to yield the desired result. i have been too busy to go out and get the necessry toy to assist and so i have been working with what is on hand. Clearly the old adage "the right tool for the right job" applies here. Hopefully, i will have the time i need tomorrow to shop for that tool.
In the meantime i will continue with other chores which involve wearing my nJoy plug for two to three hours per day. i have become quite fond on that little steel intruder. Everyday i wear it home from the office, a little piece of stealthy public kink. Well, it time for precisely that trip now and so i will arise from my desk and walk to the skytrain for my evening commute. If you see me on the train smile hello. i will be the one squirming like i have something up my ass....
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Keeping It Fresh
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Posted:Sep 21, 2010 12:36 pm
Last Updated:Sep 28, 2010 2:05 am 33096 Views
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It strikes me that one problem with long term denial might be that the sex drive just shuts down. This is probably more of an issue with older men. As a , when i could develop an erection hard enough to bore through steel at a moment's notice, this probably would not have been a problem. The problem would have been holding the explosive hormonal forces at bay. Things are different now. Sex is no long "wam bam thank You Ma'am and can we do it again now please?" but rather a more considered and deeper experience. i take longer to start and longer to reload. i like to savour the sensations as they are presented. i am much more interested in my partner's responses. Sex has become a tidal experience that flows and ebbs. It is no longer a single foaming breaker that crashes onto the shore...although i still have my foamy moments. No, sex is different now.
i understand that from the Domme's perspective, it is no fun if my response to long term denial is, "Yeah sure. Whatever." i am certain that Mistress wants a reaction: building tension, frustrated desires and sincere begging to "Let me cum Pleeeeeease!" (i can imagine Mistress grinning with delight now.) So the challenge is to keep the need going while continuing to deny it.
For me, at least, that is one of the attractions of edging. There is no recharge time with edging. It can go on forever. So far it has certainly helped to maintain my interest. As an activity it never seems to get old and it develops an addictive, self-reinforcing cycle. Nevertheless, i suspect i may need to work harder during long periods of denial to keep up the focus and tension that i believe Mistress is seeking to achieve. It will be a learning process. Undoubtedly there will be some experimentation. W/we will see how it goes.
And just for the record, after edging four times this morning, my tension level is just fine at the moment.
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Nothing Special and Yet...
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Posted:Sep 20, 2010 5:36 pm
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2010 5:36 pm 32719 Views
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Today i am incredibly horny! Why today? Nothing special happened. i am not anticipating any particular event and yet i have been very aware of my cock all day. Every time i move it rubs against the boxers, giving a little rush of sensation. When i lean forward the trousers compress it, reminding me of tight and pleasant places. There have been several sessions of edging in the company washroom today. There will be a number more when i get home tonight. Right now i want nothing more than to be tied down and teased terribly...to be brought to the brink of cumming again and again until i am begging for release. And then for the edging to continue until i am half mad...
At least i think that is what i want. Fantasy and reality can be different experiences but once i am lashed to the bed it would be too late anyway. But seriously...
Mistress has ask me how the milking has gone and i have had to admit that it had not gone far. i had tried a large dildo but clearly i need something better suited to the task. That something will be an nJoy Eleven. i have enjoyed my nJoy butt plug, am enjoying it now in fact, and the Eleven will make a nice addition to my collection. As the name implies it is eleven inches long and rather thick but with a terminal bulb that will do the job nicely. i can nearly feel it now...
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Learning to Milk
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Posted:Sep 19, 2010 3:49 pm
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2010 4:38 pm 40031 Views
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In addition to long term denial, Mistress would like me to learn to milk myself on a regular basis. In fact, She seems particularly tickled by the idea. As Her dutiful slave i have been been looking into techniques, particularly prostate massage. From the reading i have done so far, the process seems quite straightforward. Some of the texts claim that milking removes the ability to trigger the ejaculation reflex until the fluid is recharged hours or days later, suggesting that edging sessions might be very different after milking. They could be potentially more frustrating. i imagine Mistress will enjoy that as well.
Of course, theory is all well and good but now it is time to put the theory to use. Now is the time to lube up and begin stroking, not outside this time but inside.
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Upon Consideration
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Posted:Sep 19, 2010 12:25 am
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 6:22 pm 32890 Views
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It is now late Saturday evening, properly Sunday morning. When Mistress ask me about long term denial last night i was caught by surprise and did not have an adequate answer for Her. Now, after having time to think, i have decided that this is what i desire as well. i have noted that after i have been permitted to come i am less responsive to Mistress' desire and more willful. The need that denial builds in me is the tie that binds. The teasing, denial and anticipation focuses me on Her needs. i do wish to serve well and i serve best when i am denied release.
With that duly considered, i will ask Mistress to deny me for as long as She might desire. i have already given Her control over my cock and when it cums. i will renew that pledge and ask Her to do as She wishes, which i believe is to take from me the right to cum in the foreseeable future. To deny me so is Her right and gift to me. It ties me to Her. It is Her invisible collar that binds me to Her and gives me focus.
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Her Slave
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Posted:Sep 17, 2010 11:56 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 6:22 pm 32891 Views
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After a wondeful chat this evening Mistress ask me my opinion on complete orgasm denial. i really have no opinion on it because, although i have been denied for short periods, i have no experience with long term denial. Mistress has given me a month to consider the matter... well, three weeks in fact since it has been a week since my last orgasm. So i will be without an orgasm for a month. That is not to say that i will be without stimulation. Mistress always encourages me to edge and has instructed me to learn how to milk myself. i am to milk once a week. It is always good to learn new skills.
She has also instructed to record my progress in this blog. Therefore, i will be keeping a daily record of my progress and feelings. As Her obedient slave, how can i do less?
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In Depth Skill
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Posted:Sep 15, 2010 10:09 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 6:22 pm 32843 Views
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Another chat with Mistress and another thing or two to ponder: She seems to be anticipating another play session in the near future and She commented that She hopes i like deep throat. i have a strong gag reflex and so i am not looking for eward to what She might have in store for me. It seems to me that it would be prudent to do a little practicing in advance of any session with Her. i may be swallowing more than my pride.
Mistress has taken to calling me piggy in our recent chats and i have noticed a growing determination in Her to have it Her way. Previously She had been quite concerned with my needs, feelings and wants. It seems that now She has come to know me better, She is confident in Her domination of me. i find that change quite wonderful. i had ask Her to push my boundaries and it appears that Mistress is now preparing to do just that. i look forward to the experience and anticipate that She may not be pushing in ways i had imagined.
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