Exploring Her Fantasies
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Posted:Sep 13, 2010 1:17 pm
Last Updated:Sep 13, 2010 1:18 pm 33337 Views
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Mistress and i chat regularly online. Most of the time there is no play involved and the topics of conversation vary widely. While we di cuss food, gardening and family on a regular basis; we also share our fantasies. That should not surprise anyone. Of course, the fantasies themselves can contain surprises.
Mistress has fantasies of me being taken and used by a group of men. It is a vivid and detailed fantasy. She had mentioned in earlier chat sessions that She would enjoy seeing a man take me roughly in the ass but on Saturday She fleshed out the details: three men, a selection of toys and Her sitting in the corner enjoying the view. The force with which She recounted the fantasy did take me by surprise. She really wants this. i am also under the impression that She has had this fantasy for some time and has only now shared it with me. It flowed out of Her in a torrent of explicit proses. It was dirty, disturbing and delightfully wicked. i will admit that it did excite me. Indeed, i have had some similar fantasies.
The fantasy fits with Her demands that i wear plugs and stretch my ass with dildos. It also explains why She loves to watch the dildos slide in and out of me on cam. It is not the dildo but a cock that She is imaging and hoping to see take me. It also explains Her amusement...no, delight...at me being used by a Dom online. The question is what i will do about this fantasy now that She has expressed it.
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Keeping me on edge
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Posted:Sep 10, 2010 1:02 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 6:52 pm 33469 Views
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While chatting with Mistress last night, i was reminded how much She enjoys keeping me on edge... in various ways. After my cam experience with the Dom here on ALT, i had reported the play to Mistress. As i expected, She was amused with the incident although rather unhappy that i had not been able to fully perform as directed. (i had begun to hyperventilate and was forced to turn down the power on the e-stim) She told me that i should apologize to this Dom the next time i saw Him online and tell Him that anyone that makes me moan is my Mistress' friend. i am also to tell Him that She hope He makes me squeel like a pig. Now, i am happy to tell Him the first two things. The third item is another matter. i will pass the message along, of course, but i am concerned that the Dom will take Mistress at Her word. i am equally certain He will be happy to make me squeel. This is what has me on edge. my heart thumps a little harder and a little faster when i think about it and my palms get damp. i am not anxious for this kind of abuse. At the same time, it is part of the domination i crave. i will obey. i will experience it. And Mistress will be amused....which is what i want most of all.
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Seeing it from the other side
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Posted:Sep 9, 2010 1:06 pm
Last Updated:Sep 12, 2010 11:40 pm 34990 Views
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i was wondering the other day: Do switches make better Dommes? For that matter, do switches make better subs? Does the experience gained from being on the other side of the play provide insights that improves performance?
Now, there are some W/who say that a true switch is a mythic creature. i do not know. It does seem to me, however, that understanding the needs and expectations of the other would be aided by having filled their role. A lot can be communicated by honest discussion and by careful observation but there remain things that are difficult to put into words. Their are feelings, emotional subtleties and sensitive areas that language cannot express. i was considering this because my own Mistress is a switch and it seems that She has an intuitive understanding of me.
i am not saying that a Dom or Domme cannot excell at Their craft without having experienced life as a sub. Neither am i saying that a sub must have topped to truly serve well. What i am saying is that switches may have some advantages in gaining an understanding of the roles they play.
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A Magic Moment
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Posted:Sep 2, 2010 12:42 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 6:52 pm 33729 Views
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i was watching a lady masturbate last night. i was chatting with her,offering encouragement and little pieces of fantasy to fan her lust while her fingers danced across her clit. The camera offered a complete view of her wet sex. i do so love to watch. i love to listen as well. In fact, if i were to choose between one and the other, i would probably choose to listen. The sound is so much richer, more intimate and embroidered with detail. The sound of the breathing, the moans and the exclamations tell so much about what the woman is feeling. It is a view inside. Last night was particularly lovely. This was not a porn star hamming it up for the camera, shrieking her way through a fake orgasm. This was a real woman, her fingers working their magic as she murmured fantasies, rising on a wave of passion that built inside, rose and crashed out though her is a shuddering chaos of release. That is loveliness. A magic moment.
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What is it?
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Posted:Sep 1, 2010 4:50 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 6:52 pm 33471 Views
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What is it about power exchange that i find so enthralling? At one time i thought that it was a holiday from responsibility, a chance to let someone else take the burden. But that is not really the case. After all, the slave still has the responsibility of pleasing the Master. The sub must still be responsible for his own safety by properly using the safeword. No one really escapes responsibility.
In any case, i have begun to recognize in myself that there is a need rather than a desire to submit myself for use for use as the plaything of Others. i am not this way because i wish to be so. This is the way i am put together. Some part of me needs to serve. More than that, some part of me needs to suffer for the amusement of Another. On Saturday, when the current was surging through my cock and i was gasping for air, i was grateful to the Ones that commanded my torment. They were giving me three things that i needed: Their attention, my submission and my suffering.
It is perverse and curious and in need of more thought. It also feels closer to the truth han i have been in the past. i certainly would not have expected to make this discovery when i began my journey but honesty can take us odd places.
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Wow....that works
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Posted:Aug 29, 2010 11:38 am
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 6:52 pm 33805 Views
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After the problems with the electrodes last session with Mistress i have made new steel electrodes. These are much more efficient. With the old electrodes i could feel nothing before 3. With the steel there is a distinct tingle at 2 and 3 provides a strong sensation. 4 makes me moans and gasp a little. Anything beyond is sheer torment. During a session with a Dom on ALT today the power was as high as 8. It stayed there while i begged him to let me turn it down. It stayed there while He enjoyed my moaning and pleading. It stayed here until i began to feel light headed and was forced to turn it down for reasons of safety. It was an intense session and i loved it.
That was an unexpected bonus after my session yesterday with Mistress when W/we tested the electrodes for the first time. That too was intense. After playing with me for a while, She ordered me to play "the game" while She watched and listened online. The game is merciless and Mistress onjoyed my groans and thrashing as the power was turned up and down.
i still need to make some modifications to the new electrodes but i am generally very pleased with them. i am using them now, sitting naked infront of the web cam with 16 steel rings and the electrodes encasing my cock. The power is set to 3 and i could probably cum like this if i had permission. Yes, it has been a good weekend.
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Sizzle to Fizzle
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Posted:Aug 26, 2010 1:12 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 6:52 pm 34244 Views
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Well, last night did not work out as intended. i was has there, electrodes in place but somehow the power box or the connections were not doing their job. Where i would normally be squirming at a power setting of five or so, i quickly ramped up to ten just to get a decent buzz. The internet connection was poor. The video signal kept cutting out and there was excessive noise on the audio channel. In addition, Mistress had a number of distractions at Her end that pulled Her away from the session for long periods. My cock, not particularly perky at the best of times, was not just limp through the session but looked more like it was trying to crawl back into my torso. All and all, it was a rather frustrating time for all concerned...and not in a good way. Perhaps the stars were misaligned. We will try again on the weekend. This time i will check my technology more carefully before we begin.
Imagine that. i spent two days in hope, apprehension and excitement only to have the night to come to nothing. Harrumph! Next time. There is always next time.
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Submission Tonight
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Posted:Aug 25, 2010 4:25 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 6:52 pm 34244 Views
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After two days of trepidation, the time has arrived. Tonight after work i will go home. i will lay out the toys, connect the power supply to an extension cord, and set up the computer with a camera. i will set up lights to be sure the camera captures a good image. Then i will strip and take a shower. i will probably edge several times under the gentle flow of warm water. By the time i have dried myself and returned to the play area my heart will be pounding.
After logging into gmail and my ALT cam, i will wire up the electrodes. The stainless steel butt plug will slide into my ass. Then, with shaking hands, i will insert the stainless steel penis plug and secure it into place. There will be a parachute around my balls connected by chains to my ankle cuffs. By the time this is all done i will be breathing hard, excited and frightened because i know that the torment will start soon. The power will flow through my cock and balls and ass. i will moan and shudder. Soon. Very soon now. i should be on line in torment by 7:30 PST.
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A Session or The Game
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Posted:Aug 24, 2010 12:49 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 6:52 pm 34120 Views
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Mistress and i had another of O/our chats last night. O/our chats cover a lot of different topics, many of them having nothing to do with BDSM. W/we talk about gardening, our jobs and cooking. W/we discuss politics and raising . W/we chatter about just about anything. Last night was no different except that W/we were also discussing a couple of times for our next scene.
It seems that W/we may be playing on Wednesday night (tomorrow) from about 7:30 to 9:00 PST if She can clear a few things off Her schedule. When i ask Her what toys i should have ready, She told me to have the e-stim toys on hand. This sent a thrill of excitement through me. Then She added that if She was not available, i should play “the game” and record it on video for Her later enjoyment. This sent a shiver of both excitement and fear through me.
“The game” is something that i originally proposed and that W/we refined together. It has simple rules. Electrodes are placed on my cock and in my ass. The electrode for the cock is a stainless steel urethra plug. The electrode for my ass is a stainless steel but plug. Once the electrodes are in place i roll four ten sided dice. The first three determine the power, pulse rate and frequency settings on the PES box. The forth determines duration for each group of settings with time varying from one and eight minutes. (The timing is a little more complicated than just minutes corresponding to number on the die.) The game itself lasts one hour.
Because the dice produce random results, there is no way to anticipate what the next settings will be. The settings might be so low i can barely feel them or strong enough to make me whimper and curl up. Before the game i would e-stim myself by building up the power over time, increasing the strength of the stimulation as my nerves slowly numbed. This game does not allow that. The power can leap up suddenly, and certainly did the last time i played. Jumping from power three to ten is intense and painful. It is what i had craved, the pushing of my limits and an intense experience. It is also something to fear now that i have experienced it. i told Mistress this and She said She liked the fear. i know She does. i will obey. If Dhe does not have time for me tomorrow, i will play the game and She will have a chance to enjoy my suffering after by watching the video.
If She does have time to play it may be just as brutal or perhaps more so. In the past Mistress has been a little tentative in Her use of the e-stim. Now that She knows what i am willing to endure for Her, i expect She will feel free to indulge Her desire to hear me moan and gasp. Unlike the dice, She will be directing the settings to achieve the maximum effect. i fear this as well. It also excites me. The thought of of it kept me awake most of the night and kept my cock hard with anticipation.
If She does join me for the session, it will be live on my ALT web cam for any who might care to watch. Watching e-stim can be rather boring but i think the audio will make up for that.
My only regret is that She is so far away and cannot change the settings Herself while i am tied down helpless and forced to endure. i can hardly wait for the 312 to arrive.
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An IcyHot Filling
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Posted:Aug 23, 2010 2:53 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 6:52 pm 33972 Views
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Mistress and i were chatting yesterday. She had just received my little video clip of IcyHot being applied to me ass, balls and cock. She loves using things that give me a burning sensation and, of course, loves watching my ass being stuffed. It was only natural therefore that W/we should come to the issue of using IcyHot as a lube for Big Phil. Of course the question was "would i use IcyHot as a lube for my next ride" and of course my answer was "Yes Mistress." So, i have another little video project to undertake. The IcyHot did not do a lot on the outside. i am not being brave or trying to be tough when i say that. i really did not feel that much. On some folk it seems to drive them half mad. Not me. i am curious to see what the reaction will be then i lube up Big Phil and sit on him. Perhaps that will provide a bit more of a sensation.
i have come to realize that it really is intensity of sensation i crave. i suppose that is why i love the e-stim so much. The sensations can be so extremely intense and deep. Since Mistress loves to hear me moan and gasp, She is quite willing to provide the intense sensations and i am more than willing to receive them. This makes U/us well suited to each other. It also makes U/us fortunate.
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