May I Have The Definition Please? Defining Lifestyle Roles
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Posted:May 28, 2023 12:42 am
Last Updated:Feb 15, 2024 3:54 am 12950 Views
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Within the D/S lifestyle, there are all sorts of labels that people choose to attach to themselves. People are not can goods at the grocery store and should be judged for who they are rather than the brand attached to their outside, it is understandable why we do this. Since labels are a necessary component of the lifestyle, it is important to understand the definitions of identifiers while researching the role(s) so each person can define their label and how it works for them.
To begin with, the submissive side of the proverbial slash, and the best place to start is to share a description of submissive. A submissive is strong, capable, hard-working, dedicated, has their proverbial poop in a group (or as best as anyone can), they do not need a partner/dominant to handle or make choices for them in life, and are often the go-to person among their friends and/or co-workers. A submissive chooses to pick a dominant partner to get to know, date, and build a relationship with, and should they decide to offer their submission it is done because the d-type has earned this precious gift. The gift of submission is always freely given by a submissive. Not only that but a submissive is equal in their relationship, they are never less than others because they have decided to follow the leadership of their chosen dominant. This is on my blog D/S spelled with both letters capitalized because neither partner is above or below the other, they are always equal. A D/S relationship is a union of equals and every submissive has the right and as well as an expectation of speaking up when there is an issue, disagreeing with their d-type, and most importantly every s-type can say no at any time, for any reason plus every submissive can revoke their submission once again at any time and for any reason. This is also true with terminating a relationship, a s-type does not need the ‘permission’ of their dominant to end things, the submissive, just like any person has the ability and right to say “Peace, I am out of here” whenever, however, and for whatever reason(s) they desire. Lastly, submissive is not in any way gender-specific. Any individual can be any lifestyle role they wish and things like gender or sexual orientation have zero to do with roles in the D/S lifestyle.
A dominant is a person who wants to or does lead their partner(s). A d-type is an individual who has earned the trust, respect, and love of their submissive partner(s), and because the dominant has earned these the submissive has given and freely consented to give the gift of their submission to their dominant. D-types work to lead their submissives to grow, achieve, and live their dreams. Often people think that dominants hold the power in a lifestyle partnership but the truth is it is always the submissive because they can say no for any reason and at any time. D-types work with their s-type to craft the framework which will determine the specificities of power exchange in the relationship as well as the methods and reasons for the dominant to hold the submissive accountable which is most often seen as rules/guidelines and punishment/correction. A dominant is a lighthouse in the relationship providing a guiding beacon for the submissive to follow but it is always the submissive’s choice. Just like submissive, the role of dominant is not gender-specific because anyone can be dominant should the role suit them, gender and sexual orientation have no bearing on this.
Many people overlook this next role or perhaps do not even know it exists and so it is time to clear this up. Not only are there dominants and submissives in the lifestyle but there is a third role of the switch. Some in the lifestyle try to brand switches as indecisive, seeking to get the best of both worlds or that somehow this role is less than which is all poppycock. Switches typically gravitate to the d or s side depending on their partner(s) and how energy flows between them. A switch is not a role to be looked down upon but one the community needs to embrace, and fully accept, just like dominant and submissive sexual orientation and gender are not a factor.
Additionally, under the umbrella of D/S, several additional labels help further define the roles. These are often fluid as individuals can have traits or desires that are made of various parts of these.
A great place to begin with those who are just plain dominant or submissive. This would be a very traditional identifier. The best way to sum these up, without writing a novella, is d-types who find soulful joy in leading their submissive in a consensual relationship. The traditional dominant/submissive, more often than other styles, I feel will be more service and/or protocol-driven. It is protocol and service that, for me, are hallmarks of tradition.
This one is no bs even its abbreviation of M/S, which stands for master and slave, sounds similar. On a personal note, this title is something the lifestyle as a whole needs to change. The use of slavery triggers my mind to think of the horrors of actual human slavery which is not a thing of the past but still exists, even in the richest countries. People take this label because of two main reasons. No, it is not because like in the Seinfeld episode, they are masters of their domain but rather on the dominant side of things a person who is a master must have invested a significant about of time mastering as well as teaching a skill within the wizarding world of BDSM. Another place for this label is a lifestyle partnership which is both current and in real life with the dominant, in this case, master, having a submissive partner who identifies as a slave. A word of warning, the honorific of master/mistress when used online needs to be very carefully scrutinized. Many of the esteemed online twattwaffle community take these titles not because they have invested years learning a special lifestyle skill nor are they in a relationship with a slave but because they have selected it because it sounds impressive. Online, I recommend being cautious of anyone who has taken one of the M’s as a title, unless, of course, you are chatting with the M, head of MI-6 and your name is Bond, James Bond.
Next, the fast-growing subset, especially online and/or a very popular starting point for newer people. This is the category of mommy/daddy dominants and the submissives who seek them. Some of the s-types that have or desire this type of d-type are called littles where the relationship will include age regression. Not every dominant or submissive in this group finds age regression a fit but many are often drawn by the fact that rather than emphasizing service and protocols of more traditional lifestylers these partnerships are led by those who are typically more parental in structure and style.
Stop being a brat! You will get to the end of this post fast enough and you can get back to looking for online porn. Time to talk about the brat tamer and the brat. Typically a bratty s-type will more often than not be saucy with others than their d-type because a look or the right stern words will nip things in the bud. While this is not always the case, those who identify as brats do not act up/out to seek attention from their dominant and are often very obedient when they find the right partner. A brat’s sass typically comes because they are self-confidently coupled with the knowledge that the only person who they have to reign themselves in for, is their dominant, aka brat tamer.
Now it is time to get the Property Brothers in here and, um, no that probably is not the best idea. Somehow I do not think home and garden TV programming would work well with BDSM although this next group is those who on the d-side of things think of themselves as property owners and their submissive partner(s) as owned property. An owner will typically think of their s-type as simply property. They may treat their s-type this way all of the time or perhaps just some of the time. If you are newer to the lifestyle this might sound shocking and maybe a bit disconcerting but some submissives enjoy behaving like a piece of furniture, a pet (role-playing a kitten/puppy commonplace), and remember these relationships are always done with the consent of all involved.
This one might do more than just sting for a minute it is going to hurt so well, provided you consent and are into this category. Sadists and masochists are people who take pleasure in consensually giving/receiving pain as pleasure, often in a sexual/sensual manner. The pain given or sought, it should be noted, is not always physical as some want it only to be mental anguish or a combination of mental as well as physical. Once again, it is important to note that this always happens with consent and if there is no consent, it is abuse. Also, there is the commonly held belief, especially online, that a sadist is or must be dominant. This is not true and if you venture into your local in-person community, since it is more likely to be encountered in person than online, you will find people who might, for example, identify as submissive in their relationship, a little, a brat, and yet a sadist. If you ask nicely they will draw a pretty picture of your bruised butt after they beat it.
Sadists and masochists do have cousins in the lifestyle that are softer and much more sensual. These are often called sensual or sexual sadists/masochists. While pain is a pleasure again here, that pain is often softer and often included with or part of the foreplay leading up to and including coitus. It needs to be pointed out that D/S does not have to include anything painful and many people practice the lifestyle without giving or receiving even pain. Often those who are new believe pain play to be a requirement of the lifestyle and this is 100% false.
When someone says leather to you, what do you think about it? Maybe it is a jacket or perhaps an episode of Friends that chronicled Ross’ misadventure of trying to get his sweaty legs back into his leather pants. Spoiler alert, it did not end well for him. Here in the lifestyle there are Leathermen and do not let the name fool you, Leathermen are not just men. This group had its origins following World War Two when groups of gay veterans formed motorcycle clubs. Leathermen used to be comprised almost exclusively of gay men. Now, it is much different and accepting of all people regardless of gender or orientation who enjoy the sensuality of leather. This group is often stereotyped not only as gay but as being very “old guard” and protocol-driven but this is also false. While some people are old school/protocol-based, this group includes many who are very modern. One of the fun things is in the local community here, there is a strong leather group and not only is one of the most respected leaders a woman, a few years ago they earned the title locally of “Mr. Leather”. A final note, in your explorations online you meet a d-type who claims they were trained/taught by the leather community ten or more years ago while identifying as a straight male, this should set off internal alarm bells. This community has always been very protective, especially in the past when society was less accepting of gay men, thus men who did not identify as LGBTQIA+ would have had to invest plenty of time building relationships and trust to be accepted. It is not impossible but is unlikely, thus the red flag.
Now it is time to talk about some animals. Not party animals, the many internet doms who use the same wolf picture in their profile, or my favorite Muppett, Animal. This group is the primals and primal preys who are often unfiltered or a touch coarse. While those who are on the primal side of things may be without filter and/or animalistic this group can also be loving and soft.
Now to talk about a role that may mean someone is in the D/S lifestyle or it could mean they are vanilla extract. What is a vanilla extract person? A fun term for those who enjoy some kinky yumminess or f*ckery in their life but the rest of the lifestyle is not for them. This is a top or bottom. A top is a person who enjoys being in charge during a play scene while the bottom is the opposite. They may not be dominant or submissive outside of play but they could be. A good way to look at a top/bottom is they enjoy D/S role play, often in the bedroom, but it is unknown if they embrace that lifestyle outside of this realm. This is what many of those who come to D/S just looking for play should choose as a role rather than saying they are a d or s type when the only time that label applies is during play.
Some people identify as D/S but these people are more lifeguards and drowning swimmers in need of rescue. Now, this sounds pretty noble if a person identifies as dominant while wanting to save others but it should leave you questioning if they are truly dominant. The reason for this is these white knights are focused on rescuing endangered people identifying as submissives. These d-types rush in to save an s-type drowning in one of life’s tough situations, lead them to shore and give them first aid onshore but after that, there is nothing left for either the lifeguard or the saved. The fetish is about saving and being saved. Perhaps a better way to say it rather than being saved is to not have to handle life when it gives a donkey situation most commonly created by the rescued person’s bad decisions. Once saved from the sea of mistakes, the lifeguard wants to find another in need of saving and the rescued is now safe enabling them to return to making poor life choices since they did not have to learn as they were saved. These people have a kink for saving or being saved rather than pursuing a relationship once the Baywatch cameras turn off.
When you hear the word trainer, what do you think of it? Training wheels on a bike? A medical professional that runs onto a sports field when an athlete is injured? The person at the gym who motivates you to do a few more reps? In the lifestyle, there is a group, mostly men, taking the role of trainer, who love to get their hands on brand new submissives, to train them. Many of these so-called teachers can make it look like it is a noble calling, they are doing it to give back to the lifestyle. This is often very appealing to new or undereducated submissives. The truth is that they just want to get their grubby paws on fresh meat. No submissive needs to be trained. Educated, yes but training is a hard no. No matter what side of the slash a person is on, they should seek out mentors who are on the same side of the slash to learn from. This lifestyle has a trainer danger. Focus on learning from those who share your role rather than learning from the other side of the proverbial slash. Learn from those who want to teach and teaching does not include touching you.
Show me the MONEY! Sorry for the Jerry McGuire moment, but next up is the findom and finsub. Fin is short for finical. No this is not a dominant or submissive stockbroker who wants to help grow your wealth and portfolio but will require tribute, AKA money/presents, for attention. Give them X amount of cash or purchase exotic/expensive gifts to receive/earn their dominance or submission. If anyone wishes to be my finsub I have been eyeing a new Ferrari and a heli-skiing trip, and in return, I will share pictures of the car and the mountains.
Congratulations on reaching the final paragraph this did not cover every role in and around the lifestyle. One of the questions, to ask when meeting anyone new is to find out what their self-identifiers mean to them because everyone has their unique twist on roles in the lifestyle.
What important roles would you add to this list and are there definitions that you would modify or change outright?
©TLK2023
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~Goodbye Tina
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Posted:May 27, 2023 1:18 am
Last Updated:Jun 1, 2023 12:07 am 12700 Views
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I spent the past few days listening to Tina. Going back in time. She was an astonishing woman and toured her whole life. Tina even insured her legs for 3.2 million at the peak of her career. Legendary. Soulful. Beautiful.
* River Deep -Mountain High ~ Simply The Best ~ Remastered 1991
* Better Be Good To Me ~ Simply The Best
* Look Me In The Heart ~ Simply The Best
* Nutbush City Limits ~ The Best '90's Version
* The Best ~ The Best
* What You Get Is What You See. ~ The Best
* Proud Mary ~ Ike & Tina ~ Working Together
* You Can Have It ~ Ike & Tina Working Together
* The Way You Love Me ~ Ike & Tina
* A Fool In Love ~ Ike & Tina ~ The Soul Of Ike And Tina Turner
Better Be Good To Me ~ Simply The Best
A prisoner of your love
Entangled in your web
Hot whispers in the night
I'm captured by your spell (captured)
Oh, yes, I'm touched by this show of emotion
Should I be fractured by your lack of devotion?
Should I?
Should I?
Oh, you better be good to me!
That's how it's got to be now
'Cause I don't have no use for what you loosely call the truth
And you better be good to me
Yeah, you better be good, good
C'mon, c'mon, be good to me
I think it's all so right
That we don't need to fight
We stand face to face
And you present your case
Yes, I know you keep telling me that you love me
And I really do want to believe
But did you think I'd just accept you in blind faith?
Oh, sure, babe, anything to please you!
But you better be good to me
That's how it's got to be now
'Cause I don't have the time for your overloaded lines
And you better be good to me
Yeah, you better be good
Be good to me
And I really don't see why it's so hard to be
Good to me, and, you know
I don't understand, what's your plan
That you can't be good to me
What I can't feel I surely cannot see
Why can't you be good to me
And if it's not real, I do not wish to see
Why don't you be good to me
Why can't you be good to me?
Why can't you be good to me?
Why can't you be good to me?
Why can't you be good to me?
Why can't you be good to me?
Be good, good to me
Be good to me
'Cause I don't have no use for what you loosely call the truth
And I don't have the time for your overloaded lies
So you better be good to me
Yeah, you better be good
Better be good to me
Better be good
'Cause I don't have the time for your overloaded lies
And I don't have no use for what you loosely call the truth
And you better be good to me
(Why can't you be) be good to me
(Why can't you be) be good
(Why can't you be) be good to me
(Why can't you be)
'Cause I don't have no use for what you loosely call the truth
And I don't have the time for your overloaded lies
You better be good to me
(Why can't you be) good to me
(Why can't you be) good to me
Be good
Be good to me
Why can't you be (Why can't you be) good to me (Be good to me)
Why can't you be (Why can't you be) good to me (Be good to me)
C'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon
Be good to me
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21
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~Art Break
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Posted:May 24, 2023 8:13 pm
Last Updated:May 25, 2023 11:56 pm 12224 Views
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~ Artist: David Ralph
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12
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Happy Birthday, Bob
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Posted:May 24, 2023 7:10 am
Last Updated:May 24, 2023 7:04 pm 10416 Views
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* Girl From The North Country ~ Live At The Royal Festival Hall ~ London , UK 1964
* It Ain't Me Babe ~ Live At The Royal Festival Hall ~ London , UK 1964
* Visions Of Johanna ~ Live At The Belfast Theater, Ireland 1966
* Simple Twist Of Fate ~ Blood On The Tracks
* You're A Big Girl Now~ Blood On The Tracks
* Not Dark Yet ~ Time Out Of Mind Sessions ~ The Bootleg Series ( 1996-1997 )
* Standing In The Doorway ~ Time Out Of Mind Sessions ~ The Bootleg Series ( 1996-1997 )
* I've Made Up My Mind To Give Myself To You ~ Rough And Rowdy Ways
* It's Alright Ma" ( I'm Only Bleeding ) Live At The Oval City Hall, Sheffield, UK ( 1965 )
* Love Minus Zero/ No Limit ~ Live At The Odeon Liverpool, England, UK ( 1965 )
* She Belongs To Me ~ Live At The Royal Albert Hall ~ Manchester, UK ( 1985 )
She Belongs To Me ~ Live At The Royal Albert Hall ~ Manchester, UK ( 1985 )
She's got everything she needs, she's an artist
She don't look back
She's got everything she needs, she's an artist
She don't look back
She can take the dark out of the nighttime
And paint the daytime black
You will start out standing
Proud to steal her anything she sees
You will start out standing
Proud to steal her anything she sees
But you'll wind up peeking through her keyhole
Down upon your knees
She never stumbles, she's got no place to fall
She never stumbles, she's got no place to fall
She's nobody's , the Law can't touch her at all
She wears an Egyptian ring that sparkles before she speaks
She wears an Egyptian ring that sparkles before she speaks
She's a hypnotist collector, you are a walking antique.
Bow down to her on Sunday
Salute her when her birthday comes
Bow down to her on Sunday
Salute her when her birthday comes
For Halloween give her a trumpet
And for Christmas, buy her a drum
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7
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~Intimacy
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Posted:May 23, 2023 6:54 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 4:58 am 10403 Views
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Intimacy means that we can be who we are in a relationship, and allow the other person to do the same. ‘Being who we are’ requires that we can talk openly about things that are important to us, that we take a clear position on where we stand on important emotional issues, and that we clarify the limits of what is acceptable and tolerable to us in a relationship. ‘Allowing the other person to do the same’ means that we can stay emotionally connected to that other party who thinks, feels, and believes differently, without needing to change, convince, or fix the other. An intimate relationship is one in which neither party silences, sacrifices, or betrays the self and each party expresses strength and vulnerability, weakness and competence in a balanced way.
~Harriet Lerner, The Dance of Intimacy
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7
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Age Gaps And Lifestyle Relationships
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Posted:May 22, 2023 6:15 am
Last Updated:Feb 2, 2024 1:19 am 10906 Views
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At times it can feel that the older you are, the harder it becomes to find a partner, especially in D/S. A case in point was a recent post from a submissive who has leveled up in life a few times and is seeking a daddy dominant. In their writing, they expressed disappointment because they felt that those who identify as daddy dominants want younger partners thus leaving them out in the cold.
The struggles with lifestyle dating plus the D/S Dear Abbey’s who preach against age differences bring about the need for a frank discussion of age gaps in lifestyle partnerships.
One thing to consider is that a daddy d-type does not mean an age gap in the relationship. This style of dominance is about the methods and manners the D-type employees embrace. There is a common misconception that someone who identifies as a DD wants or needs a partner that is younger, often significantly younger as a submissive. The same is true about age regression play, an s-type who is a little, being a mandatory component of a lifestyle relationship with a daddy dominant. While many who seek a daddy Dom, do enjoy age play, there are many submissives as well as DDs who find age regression play to not be their jam but simply enjoy the style of leadership that daddies are known for. Additionally, while there are individuals who seek a younger partner, it does not link to a specific role or gender. As an example, we all need to clear our throats so we can “rawr!” because many cougar submissives are prowling about in our kinky forests.
Some assume the role of daddy dominant because they are an ODB, old dirty bastard, that uses the title of “daddy” to target young, naive, and/or vulnerable submissives thus allowing ODB to get thrills. This is the reason the majority of those who take titles online such as lifestyle trainer, teacher, instructor, and professor are ODBs and the use of the before-mentioned monikers must be seen as a red flag. These sleazy schoolmasters often claim they just want to teach the lifestyle which translates into getting their grubby little paws on fresh lifestyle meat. A quick note of clarification, not all who are kinky Professor Proton types are ODBs, some do just teach and share their experiences. These good apples are just like amazing educators in the vanilla world, they want to empower others, but the lessons shared are never done by engaging in hands-on learning. Also, just like in the real world, make sure those who teach their theories, walk a walk in life that reflects their teaching, for example, they do not preach trust as well as honesty while having a wife at home that they cheat on with their students.
On the flip side of that, this is a good flip slide, because the lifestyle brings people together with open minds some connections happen between people who do have a gap in their ages. Open minds make themselves available to being loved and loving someone that perhaps Dr. Phil and vanilla society might disagree with. Speaking of the vanilla world, is it, not a craptastic double standard that men are often lauded for having a much younger partner but women are not? Manthers are acceptable but cougars are not, facepalming. So with the lifestyle being a place where open minds gather, you do encounter more partnerships that occur between people of all ages, and the majority of these come from the heart. Additionally, it is not just dominants with younger submissives in the lifestyle but it is just as likely to see a submissive older, perhaps significantly older, than their d-type.
When it comes to age differences in relationships, more people have contrasts in their “levels” in the lifestyle versus the vanilla bean world but that is not because it is an expectation in D/S nor is it something that daddy dominants want/need but it is due to the prevalence of open minds and hearts that are found here in the lifestyle. While some bad actors try to take advantage of this openness, most people involved in age-gap lifestyle relationships do so from places of goodness rather than from selfishness. With open minds come open hearts and in a lifestyle of very open minds, like D/S, relationships blossom and grow between consenting adults of all ages, even those with gaps between them.
How do you feel about age-gap relationships and why?
©TLK2023
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11
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The One....
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Posted:May 21, 2023 9:09 pm
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2024 1:06 am 9449 Views
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“She instinctively knows that each pretender she eliminates brings her one step closer to the One, and in fact, it is not unusual to hear her use this exact terminology: The One. You can almost hear the Capitalization as she says it.”
*Author Unknown
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12
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Warning: Soapbox Ranting/Rambling Ahead ...
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Posted:May 20, 2023 2:48 am
Last Updated:May 24, 2023 3:25 am 8321 Views
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Read on or skedaddle, biscuits are definitely required and play nice.
Calling a submissive fake because they questioned an instruction is unadulterated bullshit at best and cruel manipulation at worst.
Respectfully questioning an instruction/order because it is/was unclear, unsafe, not possible, not pre-negotiated/agreed to, or not consensual is exactly the right thing to do and is what a submissive should do in the event of any of the above occurring.
It is responsible, productive, and the clever thing to do under dodgy circumstances - no matter what flavor of BDSM governance one adheres to.
Because here’s the thing:- blind compliance in the event of unclear parameters, lack of negotiation, and/or uncertain consent is not submission.
Submitting is not about being bullied, coerced, or manipulated by a person or situation.
Dominating is not about bullying, coercing, or manipulating a person or situation
We know this. We know that BDSM does not stand for *bully" *damage* *scar* *maim* …
Btw - BDSM stands for bondage discipline/dominance sadism/submission masochism - in case your dictionary goblin is on a tea break.
Neither BDSM nor d/s is about bullying or being bullied/coercing or being coerced/manipulation or being manipulated. (if you think that it is about any of those things, I’m afraid you’ve overshot the runway and landed in a swamp called Abuse - sorry, no biscuits for you - please proceed straight back to ‘nillaville)
Respect, consent, trust, and safety are absolutely everything in d/s.
So why then, is it so common to hear people saying stupid shit like “submissives must always obey, no matter what” or “a true submissive would never question an order - they just trust their dominant”.
Trust goes both ways - dominants must be able to trust their sub to ask for clarity if they don’t understand and safeword if there is danger or withdrawal of consent. And a submissive must be able to trust that their Dom will listen and respect their call.
Unfortunately, the whole blind obedience thing seems to be getting way too much airplay and folks don’t seem to understand that it’s fine as fantasy but not How Things Actually Work. And sadly, people are getting hurt. Sometimes repeatedly because they don’t understand the basics of healthy power exchange and end up just being abused by twatwombles.
In addition, recognizing that one is being bullied/manipulated and being able to remedy the situation is not necessarily as simple or easy as explaining one’s position and poof! problem solved. Often there are many other factors at play - sometimes really complicated ones.
Regardless, as the submissive in a d/s engagement/dynamic, one does have certain responsibilities, one of which is to safeword or otherwise call it if the situation warrants it.
For example: if and when an instruction is unclear/dangerous/not previously agreed to or not consensual. Blind obedience under such conditions puts both parties at extreme risk.
In other words, it is the submissive’s responsibility to make sure that they fully understand and enthusiastically consent to whatever is being asked of them. And if they don’t, it is their job to speak up - either to ask for clarity or to pull the plug.
Anything less than full understanding and educated, enthusiastic, ongoing consent is not submission or power exchange.
It may be helpful to keep the following in mind:
Compliance, obedience, and expectations thereof are not standard issues, one-size-fits-all applicable to every d/s dynamic/experience kind of thing. Like kinks, hard/soft limits, and other matters relevant to power exchange/kink-based relationships, they must be discussed, negotiated, and agreed to before engaging.
Until all the details have been hammered out and agreed to by all parties, the submissive party is not required to obey or comply with any instruction from the dominant party. And once all negotiations are complete and agreed to - by all parties - the submissive party still retains the right to ask as many questions as are necessary to ensure full understanding and full consent.
Personal responsibility, logic, manners, and basic decency do not get chucked out the window just because one has a sticker that says “Hi my name’s Candy and I’ll be your submissive for the evening” or one gets off on being told what to do. These aspects of human interpersonal relating actually become exponentially more important - not least of all because of the danger to life and limb.
So if a dominant gets all bent out of shape and takes the “you’re not a real sub” route when you don’t immediately drop to your knees, strip, and/or beg to polish their knob because it’s your first meeting and communication is apparently an abandoned city south of “we haven’t even bloody discussed kinks, limits, and expectations let alone negotiated whether kneeling is actually A Thing or not” - run the fuck away as fast as your legs will carry you - do not walk - do not stop to say “kthxbai” and for the love of fuck, do not think for one moment that you are a fake sub. You’re not. You’re a silly sub for not sorting that shit out long before agreeing to meet but you are one hundred percent a real live (emphasis on the live) submissive.
Submissive is who you are. Submission is something you offer to the person/people of your choosing under the terms and conditions of your choosing. Your identity as a submissive is not open to debate, criticism, or judgment by anyone. Ever.
So, ask the questions - ask all the fucking questions necessary to ensure the well-being, understanding, and consent of everyone involved. Respectfully, firmly and if needs be, repeatedly. That is your right and responsibility as the submissive.
Thank you for reading. Be well - be kind and play safe.
And remember: submission - like dominance, is a gift. And gifts come with responsibilities.
TTFN 🐾
Shiny.
P.S. Eat your biscuits! You’ve earned them…
P.P.S. lots of repetition, I know. You’re welcome.
~ itsshinycollectordestinyworld
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11
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Eyes Wide Open
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Posted:May 18, 2023 6:16 am
Last Updated:Apr 10, 2024 9:35 am 7717 Views
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I've learned to pay attention to the little things in the beginning. The things that get overlooked until they become the bigger things in the end. Things become skewed once feelings form. Simple actions that tell of one's true nature, personality, moral center, and heart. The things lovers think they can change in someone. Or settle with. It's better to go with your eyes wide open instead of jumping off a cliff into arms that were never really strong enough to catch you. Or even worse into arms that would rather see you fall. Once you start down a path of feelings it's easy to get lost in the idea of a person, instead of what's been staring you in the face from the beginning that you chose to close your eyes to.
her-reconciled-heart
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Something About Love
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Posted:May 16, 2023 9:33 am
Last Updated:Jan 30, 2024 12:29 am 8424 Views
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Love is someone saying "I see you and I will walk in that direction."
Sometimes you see; sometimes they see. Sometimes you walk; sometimes they walk. Healthy love is where all of that happens consistently. That's how simple it is.
Except... no one is born good at seeing or walking. We each have to learn. Each of us, no exceptions. So, we learn, at different rates, in different ways. That's how complicated it is.
If it were easy and common, it wouldn't be as valuable, would it? We'd take it for granted. We wouldn't have so many songs and stories about love if it was just some convenient product, we could pick off a shelf.
Love is rare and homegrown. Each love is a unique work of art representing time and effort and dedication and all of the lessons learned along the way. That's why it's a priceless treasure. That's why it's a gamble and investment. That's why so many of us want it so much.
Learn to understand and be understood. Learn to approach and be approached. Don't get upset at anyone for learning -- including yourself. It's all part of the process we've each had to individually reinvent after thousands and thousands of years of humanity.
It's as simple and as complicated as that.
~consistent-sincerity
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