This BDSM book, essay...
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Posted:Feb 15, 2018 5:42 am
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2018 8:06 am 3761 Views
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It is a translation from German, by Sina-Aline Geisler.
It is very difficult to find, online or in print.
Dutch title; Moed tot deemoed,
Over het genot een masochist te zijn.
It is a real great informative book about all facets of masochism,
And some personal development into accepting her own masochistic nature.
All kind of women are getting interview about how they need their fulfilment in pain, physical or mentally, or both.
Or degradation
Or humilation,
Or.....? consent nonconsent,
Or Edgeplay.
Or ........
Some need it as a very strict ritualised act, once a week, punishment, counting points,
Some need the emotional connection first, the friendship.
Some need the vanilla out side world, to balance their need for BDSM/ masochism in their relation.
They need the vanilla world to hide themselfs in.../ for
It was a real eye opener for me, there are so many ways or form in witch a woman can get her masochistic needs fulfilled.
It is wonderful to read about all those ways of masochism.
It feel real great to get some kind of acknowledgement, finally, that it is oké, to have these feelings and needs.
Once i understood that what i needed had a name; masochism,
and how the society thinks about that, looks at that.....
I was sooo happy! i was so glad to have finally found what was 'WRONG" with me..
And what that could mean for my life, the implications,
for my contacts with friends, family.
I was no longer afraid, about the judgement of others.
i was very, very happy to finally have found what i always missed in all those deadly boring vanilla relations...
And i decided that NO VANILLA ever, was going to stop me from feeling great about me being a masochist.
They all could go and fuck themselfs!
In the Dutch scene i learned very fast that most so called "doms"  amp; dont have a clue about what MASOCHISM can mean for that one special person.
But that was because they can see BDSM only as some sexgame, roleplay for some houres, with in a vanilla relation.
They talked about punishment, discipline,
But, the thing is, masochists are not all the same.
Some will love to be punished,
Others feel misunderstood, because of that said punishment.
Do you punish a person because he/she has bleu eyes?
Right! you wont!
That is how it feels to punish a masochiste
They/ I need the pain sensation PERIOD
Preferable on a daily basis.
It is also initial, totally NON SEXUAL,
It is a way to get into that special quiet place in my head, to finally be able to let go.
It is about that amount of trust, to be able to totally let go,
Trust that man, to never hurt you, go beyond you limits.
Trust that man with your life.....Knowing he knows what you need,
and he is the one who is able to give you exactly that.
Because he understands your inner need, to surrender fully.
It mirrows, reflects his need to let go of his sadistic needs, too.
In the same time frame, i also discovered that being a sub, just for the kinky fuckery, was never being enough for me.
i need a strict regime, rules to life by, protocol, Dynamic
So, i was not a submissive, that was not enough, that was never ever fulfilling for me.
So?
That must mean that i was a slave?!
I know all vanilla men go crazy by the thought of a (sex) slave
Thát is all what they can think of.
They totally forget they need some special character traits, to be able to give that slave what she needs.
It is NOT about 24/7 sex.
Poor souls. Poor ignorant souls....
It takes a special kind of character traits, responsiblity to be able to guide and structure what you both need out if that dynamic/ authority transfer/exchange...
Nó vanilla will ever be able to handle this, understands this, just because his lack of those specific character traits.
I totally understand the frustration of alll those vanillas on here, trying to act some way...
Copy some porn role... believing that hey are......
Submission is by her nature not something you can demand.
She/he must first KNOW and TOTALLY trust you.
YOU - not that fantasy role you build up in your head...
For that, it is necessary that you first know yourself and know were you are coming from, what your needs are....
Vanillas, by their being vanillas, dont have a clue what this is all about.
It is a real great book, if you stil can find it, buy it.
You could really learn something about this aspect of BDSM and maybe about yourself too.....
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KINK, versus BDSM
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Posted:Feb 11, 2018 3:15 am
Last Updated:May 15, 2024 11:46 am 2886 Views
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Most men and maybe women too?
i dont know, i am not looking for women...
But for sure, the most of the men on here, want strictly kinky sex, in the bedroom, kitchen, garden, livingroom, but kinky sex/fuckery is their goal!
Because they dont know shit about BDSM, they ofcourse call themselfs doms;
It sounds sooo good, they feel so good about themselfs, using that name
What they DONT know, is that calling your self dominant has a meaning in BDSM.
It is not something you give yourself freely because you get a hard on, by calling yourself something you will never be albe to pull off
It is such a pitty, dont you think?
It would be so much easier, when those persons just would call themselfs TOPS.
or KINKSTERS.
By using that name, every women who knows about the protocol, the ground rules of BDSM, knows about what she needs, is looking for in a man.
Knows where she is dealing with.
And can say; no thank you, you are a TOP, that is not what i am looking for,
good luck on your journey...
No hard feelings, goodbye.
Nowadays, as a sub/slave, you almost have to defend yourself against those buggers
Who dont know SHIT, about BDSM.
Have no respect for subs/slaves, (women in general?)
Dont know anything about compatiblity, negotiation
The only thing, they are good in, is DEMANDING your submission.
Poor souls...
Dont understand one thing, AND, even worst, are not able and willing to LEARN, from their mistakes, ever.
Porn invested brain cells.
They dont know, that they need to be of a consistency in their life, relation, work,
as a human
The dont know, they have to know themselfs FIRST, before they are ever able to know someone else...
They dont know, that having an anger management problem is not going to work in a D/s relation.
It is such a waste of time, energy and effort.. trying to teach those fuckers something about THE PROTOCOL OF BDSM, the basics of BDSM.
that is because they only want the FUN part of it, the fuckery
They dont want the responsiblity that comes along, with being a dominant.
They would not know how...
So, when some geezer is calling himself DOMLORDSIROF THE DARKAGES,
run for the hills.
Dont ever take such title serious.
Unless, it shows in his behaviour.
In his consistency
In his interest in YOU,
In his ability to show feelings, doubt, emotions.
In his sense of humor,
In his ability to keep his promises.
In his ability to have an open communication with you about all and everything.
Being a real life persona. with ups and downs like we all have, but who knows how to handle his own shit.
KINKSTERS! 98% on here are KINKSTER, PLAYERS.
Be aware.
Good luck.
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The art of.....
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Posted:Sep 14, 2017 1:11 pm
Last Updated:May 15, 2024 11:46 am 3288 Views
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It almost seems that the art of having a conversation is lost on this medium
Or on the majority of men here?
How to start a conversation?
Do you forcefeed your ideas about all and every thing, and what not, through the other persons throat?
Not, if you want the conversation to last longer then some short moments...
When i am intruiged by other people, and in the circomstance to have a conversation with that person,
i start by asking them this and that, find out what and how the think.
how and were they stand in their life....
i really love to do that...
In that way there is room to let something grow, some feeling of appreciation.
i dont go along, with telling them, they have to believe what i believe, because otherwise they are not real people.
i dont go along and deny their right on their truth.
I always try to find some common ground.
I also love to talk to people who are not born here, in Europe i mean
i love to hear their storys.
Try to find some common ground, as human beings
We have a small Toko here, run by people from Syrië.
I love to talk to them, we talk about all and everything, from good quality honey to dresses, and then some...
We start a conversation, give the other person some personal room, to be what they are.
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It is sooo bad..... and sad too....:-(
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Posted:May 18, 2017 1:46 am
Last Updated:Jun 3, 2017 4:03 pm 4240 Views
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There is a distinct way in wich a Genuine/ by heart Dominant contacts you....
Or how a player/kinkster-bedroomonly sexplay-act-dominant contacts you....
Believe me, there is!
I have met a whole lot of *playerdomskinksters*....
Their ammo is always the same, it may vary in rudeness, assumption, but the modus operandi is the same.
One of the things they are capable of doing is "kissing you" online, what the fuck that may mean?!
Also, inappropiate kissing, "spanking" of body parts seems one of the thing they really, really like to do.. ONLINE.... In a mailcontact.....
There is not even any sign that you have something in common yet, but, he is already spanking and kissing you...(without any consent at all!)
PLAYING THE GAME OF SEXSM...
i get sick to the stomach!
This is only for their own hornyness, to stroke their EGO, it has nothing to do, with who you are, what you need.
Nothing at all!
It is such a sick behaviour.
If you say something about it, they get very, very upset, angry, out of controle,
it was just for fun!
If you dont accept thát, then you are not A TRWUE SUB...
right!, as in he is not a dom kind of way...?
You should not think soo much of it...
PÁRDON!
So you have to accept sexual haressment? because that man is able to make a choice in a lists of roles he thinks he can perform?
and calls himselfs A dom?
An other thing; they almost never ever show some real human interest in YOU.
they demand to know what you like... your sexual preference... your hard limits...
All sex orientated! Not person orientated.
Objectify the person... make her a thing, a cunt & anus with boobs.....
This is about playing the game of "dominance".... the sex driven game...
the one and only goal is orgasm.
His.
By using your bodyopenings.. = kinky sex, swinger, player.
When you want to know more about him, as a person, what he is like, in real life, if he likes his job, his parents, his co-workers....?
They are very reluctant to open up, it is all very surly... you have to drag those fact out of them....
A genuine dominant, by heart, has patience, knows that he must let the sub/slave get to know him, give her the time... answer all her questions, give freely info about himself and his grow.... into this all so strange needs and feelings...
want to get to know YOU, as a person, what your dislikes and likes are in life.
What makes you happy, what makes you sad, wants to know your emotional stability,
your whole back ground....
A GENUINE, BY HEART, DOMINANT is interested in YOU, as a whole....person...
So, when i meet a someone new, online first... mostly, ofcourse, and he acts in this manner...
only into the kinky- fantasy- play... act...?
Only all about HIS wants....? Dont ask me 1 personal question and show genuine interest...?
i know enough.
The players mode is; checking facts, comparing lists, starts of with kinky horny talk, 'getting her in the mood'.... talk.... and gó! for it.
sex, sex, sex,......
A genuine, by heart dominant, is much more playfull, he will try to build some kind of bond, friendship....
Will in a playfull manner find more about the who you are.
Talk tó, with you, not at you.
...... Just, again, some other loser, [pardon me], player/kinkster, horny dog!....
pretending to be, something he will never ever be able to.
waste of time, waste of space, waste of energy...
If a socalled "dom", is not even able to control himself online?
How can i ever trust him to control himself in any other kind of situation...?
If he let me lead the conversation, if he goes with mý flow, instead of stay in his own flow? and let me be myself.....?
Who, the fuck is leading who then?
discusting little crawling creepers..... 
I am very, very sorry, but my patience is about to run out.
All those horny dogs- players!! sick to the stomach i get from them..
pretending to be something they are not ever able to pull off and out of their way mad if i confront them with their lack on all levels....
starting by lack of ethical human behaviour...
Not the behaviour you should expect for so called grown ups.. adults...
Such a pity.... i feel sad for them....
Sites like this and FETLIFE and COLLARSPACE/COLLARME can only survive because all those lurkers.... fakers, players... 
otherwise, there might be just a handfull of people who really understand what this is all about....
So sad..... so deeply saddening.
cry me a river.... Joe Cocker.....
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2
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It is sooo bad..... and sad too....:-(
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Posted:May 18, 2017 1:45 am
Last Updated:May 15, 2024 11:46 am 3971 Views
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There is a distinct way in wich a Genuine/ by heart Dominant contacts you....
Or how a player/kinkster-bedroomonly sexplay-act-dominant contacts you....
Believe me, there is!
I have met a whole lot of *playerdomskinksters*....
Their ammo is always the same, it may vary in rudeness, assumption, but the modus operandi is the same.
One of the things they are capable of doing is "kissing you" online, what the fuck that may mean?!
Also, inappropiate kissing, "spanking" of body parts seems one of the thing they really, really like to do.. ONLINE.... In a mailcontact.....
There is not even any sign that you have something in common yet, but, he is already spanking and kissing you...(without any consent at all!)
PLAYING THE GAME OF SEXSM...
i get sick to the stomach!
This is only for their own hornyness, to stroke their EGO, it has nothing to do, with who you are, what you need.
Nothing at all!
It is such a sick behaviour.
If you say something about it, they get very, very upset, angry, out of controle,
it was just for fun!
If you dont accept thát, then you are not A TRWUE SUB...
right!, as in he is not a dom kind of way...?
You should not think soo much of it...
PÁRDON!
So you have to accept sexual haressment? because that man is able to make a choice in a lists of roles he thinks he can perform?
and calls himselfs A dom?
An other thing; they almost never ever show some real human interest in YOU.
they demand to know what you like... your sexual preference... your hard limits...
All sex orientated! Not person orientated.
Objectify the person... make her a thing, a cunt & anus with boobs.....
This is about playing the game of "dominance".... the sex driven game...
the one and only goal is orgasm.
His.
By using your bodyopenings.. = kinky sex, swinger, player.
When you want to know more about him, as a person, what he is like, in real life, if he likes his job, his parents, his co-workers....?
They are very reluctant to open up, it is all very surly... you have to drag those fact out of them....
A genuine dominant, by heart, has patience, knows that he must let the sub/slave get to know him, give her the time... answer all her questions, give freely info about himself and his grow.... into this all so strange needs and feelings...
want to get to know YOU, as a person, what your dislikes and likes are in life.
What makes you happy, what makes you sad, wants to know your emotional stability,
your whole back ground....
A GENUINE, BY HEART, DOMINANT is interested in YOU, as a whole....person...
So, when i meet a someone new, online first... mostly, ofcourse, and he acts in this manner...
only into the kinky- fantasy- play... act...?
Only all about HIS wants....? Dont ask me 1 personal question and show genuine interest...?
i know enough.
The players mode is; checking facts, comparing lists, starts of with kinky horny talk, 'getting her in the mood'.... talk.... and gó! for it.
sex, sex, sex,......
A genuine, by heart dominant, is much more playfull, he will try to build some kind of bond, friendship....
Will in a playfull manner find more about the who you are.
Talk tó, with you, not at you.
...... Just, again, some other loser, [pardon me], player/kinkster, horny dog!....
pretending to be, something he will never ever be able to.
waste of time, waste of space, waste of energy...
If a socalled "dom", is not even able to control himself online?
How can i ever trust him to control himself in any other kind of situation...?
If he let me lead the conversation, if he goes with mý flow, instead of stay in his own flow? and let me be myself.....?
Who, the fuck is leading who then?
discusting little crawling creepers.....
I am very, very sorry, but my patience is about to run out.
All those horny dogs- players!! sick to the stomach i get from them..
pretending to be something they are not ever able to pull off and out of their way mad if i confront them with their lack on all levels....
starting by lack of ethical human behaviour...
Not the behaviour you should expect for so called grown ups.. adults...
Such a pity.... i feel sad for them....
Sites like this and FETLIFE and COLLARSPACE/COLLARME can only survive because all those lurkers.... fakers, players...
otherwise, there might be just a handfull of people who really understand what this is all about....
So sad..... so deeply saddening.
cry me a river.... Joe Cocker.....
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i cant help myself... it is soooo bad...... and sad too...
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Posted:May 18, 2017 1:34 am
Last Updated:May 15, 2024 11:46 am 3956 Views
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There is a distinct way in wich a Genuine/ by heart Dominant contacts you....
Or how a player/kinkster-bedroomonly sexplay-act-dominant contacts you....
Believe me, there is!
I have met a whole lot of *playerdomskinksters*....
Their ammo is always the same, it may vary in rudeness, assumption, but the modus operandi is the same.
One of the things they are capable of doing is "kissing you" online, what the fuck that may mean?!
Also, inappropiate kissing, "spanking" of body parts seems one of the thing they really, really like to do.. ONLINE.... In a mailcontact.....
There is not even any sign that you have something in common but,, he is already spanking and kissing you...(without any consent at all!)
PLAYING THE GAME OF SEXSM...
i get sick at the stomach!
This is only for their own hornyness, to stroke their EGO, it has nothing to do, with who you are, what you need.
Nothing at all!
It is such a sick behaviour.
If you say something about it, they are very, very upset, angry, out of controle,
it was just for fun!
If you dont accept thát, then you are not A TRWUE SUB... right, as in he is not a dom kind of way...?
You should not think soo much of it...
PÁRDON!
So you have to accept sexual haressment? because that man is able to make a choice in a lists of roles he thinks he can perform?
and calls himselfs A dom?
An other thing; they almost never ever show some real human interest in YOU.
they demand to know what you like... your sexual preference... your hard limits...
All sex orientated! Not person orientated.
Objectify the person... make her a thing, a cunt & anus with boobs.....
This is about playing the game of "dominance".... the sex driven game...
the one and only goal is orgasm.
His.
By using your bodyopenings.. = kinky sex, swinger, player.
When you want to know more about him, as a person, what he is like, in real life, if he likes his job, his parents, his co-workers....?
They are very reluctant to open up, it is all very surly... you have to drag those fact out of them....
A genuine dominant, by heart, has patience, knows that he must let the sub/slave get to know him, give her the time... answer all her questions, give freely info about himself and his grow.... into this all so strange needs and feelings...
want to get to know YOU, as a person, what your dislikes and likes are in life.
What makes you happy, what makes you sad, wants to know your emotional stability,
your whole back ground....
A GENUINE, BY HEART, DOMINANT is interested in YOU, as a whole....person...
So, when i meet a someone new, online first... mostly, ofcourse, and he acts in this manner...
only into the kinky- fantasy- play... act...?
Only all about HIS wants....? Dont ask me 1 personal question and show genuine interest...?
i know enough.
The players mode is; checking facts, comparing lists, starts of with kinky horny talk, 'getting her in the mood'.... talk....
sex, sex, sex,......
A genuine, by heart dominant, is much more playfull, he will try to build some kind of bond, friendship....
Will in a playfull manner find more about the who you are.
Talk tó, with you, not at you.
Just some other loser, [pardon me], player/kinkster, horny dog!....
pretending to be, something he will never ever be able to.
waste of time, waste of space, waste of energy...
If a socalled "dom", is not even able to control himself online?
How can i ever trust him to control himself in any other kind of situation...?
If he let me lead the conversation, if he goes with mý flow, instead of stay in his own flow? and let me be myself.....?
Who, the fuck is leading who then?
discusting little crawling creepers.....
I am very, very sorry, but my patience is about run out.
All those horny dogs- players!! sick to the stomach i get from them..
pretending to be something they are not able to pull off and out of their way mad if i confront them with their lack on all levels.
starting by lack of ethical human behaviour...
Such a pity.... i feel sad for them....
Sites like this and FETLIFE and COLLARSPACE/COLLARME can only survive because all those lurkers.... fakers, players...
otherwise, there might be just a handfull of people who really understand what this is all about....
So sad..... so deeply saddening.
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0
Comments
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i cant help myself... it is soooo bad...... and sad too...
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Posted:May 18, 2017 1:33 am
Last Updated:May 15, 2024 11:46 am 4117 Views
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There is a distinct way in wich a Genuine/ by heart Dominant contacts you....
Or how a player/kinkster-bedroomonly sexplay-act-dominant contacts you....
Believe me, there is!
I have met a whole lot of *playerdomskinksters*....
Their ammo is always the same, it may vary in rudeness, assumption, but the modus operandi is the same.
One of the things they are capable of doing is "kissing you" online, what the fuck that may mean?!
Also, inappropiate kissing, "spanking" of body parts seems one of the thing they really, really like to do.. ONLINE.... In a mailcontact.....
There is not even any sign that you have something in common but,, he is already spanking and kissing you...(without any consent at all!)
PLAYING THE GAME OF SEXSM...
i get sick at the stomach!
This is only for their own hornyness, to stroke their EGO, it has nothing to do, with who you are, what you need.
Nothing at all!
It is such a sick behaviour.
If you say something about it, they are very, very upset, angry, out of controle,
it was just for fun!
If you dont accept thát, then you are not A TRWUE SUB... right, as in he is not a dom kind of way...?
You should not think soo much of it...
PÁRDON!
So you have to accept sexual haressment? because that man is able to make a choice in a lists of roles he thinks he can perform?
and calls himselfs A dom?
An other thing; they almost never ever show some real human interest in YOU.
they demand to know what you like... your sexual preference... your hard limits...
All sex orientated! Not person orientated.
Objectify the person... make her a thing, a cunt & anus with boobs.....
This is about playing the game of "dominance".... the sex driven game...
the one and only goal is orgasm.
His.
By using your bodyopenings.. = kinky sex, swinger, player.
When you want to know more about him, as a person, what he is like, in real life, if he likes his job, his parents, his co-workers....?
They are very reluctant to open up, it is all very surly... you have to drag those fact out of them....
A genuine dominant, by heart, has patience, knows that he must let the sub/slave get to know him, give her the time... answer all her questions, give freely info about himself and his grow.... into this all so strange needs and feelings...
want to get to know YOU, as a person, what your dislikes and likes are in life.
What makes you happy, what makes you sad, wants to know your emotional stability,
your whole back ground....
A GENUINE, BY HEART, DOMINANT is interested in YOU, as a whole....person...
So, when i meet a someone new, online first... mostly, ofcourse, and he acts in this manner...
only into the kinky- fantasy- play... act...?
Only all about HIS wants....? Dont ask me 1 personal question and show genuine interest...?
i know enough.
The players mode is; checking facts, comparing lists, starts of with kinky horny talk, 'getting her in the mood'.... talk....
sex, sex, sex,......
A genuine, by heart dominant, is much more playfull, he will try to build some kind of bond, friendship....
Will in a playfull manner find more about the who you are.
Talk tó, with you, not at you.
Just some other loser, [pardon me], player/kinkster, horny dog!....
pretending to be, something he will never ever be able to.
waste of time, waste of space, waste of energy...
If a socalled "dom", is not even able to control himself online?
How can i ever trust him to control himself in any other kind of situation...?
If he let me lead the conversation, if he goes with mý flow, instead of stay in his own flow? and let me be myself.....?
Who, the fuck is leading who then?
discusting little crawling creepers.....
I am very, very sorry, but my patience is about run out.
All those horny dogs- players!! sick to the stomach i get from them..
pretending to be something they are not able to pull off and out of their way mad if i confront them with their lack on all levels.
starting by lack of ethical human behaviour...
Such a pity.... i feel sad for them....
Sites like this and FETLIFE and COLLARSPACE/COLLARME can only survive because all those lurkers.... fakers, players...
otherwise, there might be just a handfull of people who really understand what this is all about....
So sad..... so deeply saddening.
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