The next chapter in my story ( part 8 )
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Posted:Aug 25, 2022 12:42 am
Last Updated:Oct 1, 2022 2:46 am 6787 Views
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EIGHT
What followed, I later learned, was that I was kept in a semi conscious state for three days while arrangements were made for my transport to this place. I am not entirely sure where we are but I do know from what I overheard that we are on an island Perhaps one of the Channel Islands. It’s certainly typical English spring weather here.
I woke up from a long deep sleep feeling rested, bright and refreshed. I was in a big comfy bed in a rather old-fashioned bedroom with dark wood wardrobes and tall Georgian windows. Warm sunlight flooded into the big room making everything fresh and bright. I have no idea why I felt no particular curiosity, just wondered what would happen next and of course. And forefront in my mind when another man would have me.
I was naked under a soft down duvet.
No sooner was I awake than a middle-aged woman entered the room, without knocking I noticed.
“Good morning my dear how are you It’s a lovely day. I’m Mrs Simms and I am here to look after you Isn’t that nice?”
She was to become my constant companion for the next three weeks and I will never forget her.
Let me tell you about Mrs Simms
She always had such a busy air about her, brisk. I actually liked her more each day despite what she does to me, with me. I realise she has a job to do, a task preparing me and she takes it seriously. She is very stern but I think that deep down she likes me.
She is about fifty I’d guess, was once very beautiful and elegant still, tall, maybe a bit too thin to be healthy and with her sharp eagle like beady eye always on me She speaks with a slight northern accent which I find comforting but she in fact provides me with little comfort . I suppose I am drawn to her and fear her in equal measure. She is my only real regular human contact.
The house was Victorian maybe Georgian, large with an air of faded grandeur. Mostly there were few people about during the day, sometimes just me and Mrs Simms and the Housekeeper and she is not just my principal trainer but I suppose my guard.
As we chatted she casually drew back my duvet and cupped my pussy. I saw her smile widen as she found how easily her fingers slid inside my wetness. Instinctively I opened my legs wider.
“Such a very good girl”
Her thumb found my clitoris and began a rapid flicking. She gazed at my face intently until my vision blurred and I cried out, bucked and squirmed in a long powerful orgasm
“Very very good needy little girl. How delightful”
She washed her hands as I recovered.
“We really need to learn to tighten those cunt muscles, don’t we girlie” she spoke from the wash basin before leaving me confused and worn out on my sweaty bed.
She popped her head around my door to say, “Dress as you like, it’s a nice sunny day. Breakfast in the dining room, I am sure you’ll find it OK”
And so my three weeks there began. I realize I am clearly being taken to some new level of sexual conditioning. Moving beyond the state of 24/7 arousal I am now being kept in a desperate need to be used . to be penetrated . I masturbate to exhaustion when I get the chance and when I am allowed toys I think I go wild. And of course the endless stream of men they brought to the house to use me.
Plus I can’t focus . From when I first wake I am so very desperate to be used. To be taken.
Why do they need me in this state? Evil Mrs Simms understands exactly .
Typically, when she enters my room to shake me awake from my sweating dream filled sleep she will cup my pussy and casually tell me to “ Cum on my hand like a good little slut There there, Good girl”
And so I jerk and thrash and moan out yet another violent desperate orgasm. Where will it end?
I would dress in simple clothes, sometimes just a sort of shift they provided or maybe shorts and a top. They encouraged me to get fitter, leaner. I was told to run around the encircling garden wall of the house every day and to use the gym equipment. I certainly got more toned.
Its hard now to explain the state they finally got me into. So utterly focused on my need for sex, my constant nagging desperate need to feel the ecstasy of orgasm. Try to imagine waking from a deep sleep of wild erotic dreams and your only thought is the need to be used. And for the whole day constantly, whenever I can I am touching myself, masturbating or using toys.
And yet deep down I felt a new sort of contentment. This is what my life was for. To provide pleasure, To be used. For me nothing could be more perfect
And, thank heavens, at least twice a day I will be offered to a man, often more than one, total strangers They usually take me on my bed, sometimes on the dining table and sometimes in the garden. And then when they are finished and I am lying exhausted and trembling I hear them questioned on how well I performed They are keeping a sort of score sheet. Mrs Simms is usually watching and tells me over and over how I must try harder to please them
“Clench dear like I taught you”
“Try to match his thrusts with your muscle clamping sweetness”
Often, she would stand by the bed or the table watching closely Sometimes with a slight frown.
“Lift those hips. Match his rhythm Good girl Good girl”
And I sweat and writhe and moan in my delirium of desperate pleasure.
After those weeks I was strangely content. A sort of inner peace despite my constant need to be used It felt so right, that this was my natural place . Each day merged into the next in a constant stream of resting, exercise and being taken by these endless visiting men.
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Second part continuation of the story
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Posted:Jan 22, 2022 1:57 am
Last Updated:Aug 17, 2022 4:55 am 7443 Views
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FOUR
From the moment they woke me. t obvious this going to be a very different day Once I had finished breakfast, I recall a lovely omelette they allowed me to use a toy to masturbate while they completed the medical tests.
I no longer embarrassed to masturbate with others in the room watching me or even their lewd comments at my orgasm. Then they me to a lovely room One I’d never seen before, fully kitted out like spa, like some up market classy salon, I relaxed happily as clad in their crisp white overalls, beauticians saw to my nails , my make up, all after myhair washed and cut and had been blow dried, so very fluffy and feminine in the mirror. Not my usual style at all!
Then I dressed, pretty pretty lingerie but so silky, so sensual it just seemed to heightened my awareness of my sensitised body as I zipped into a classic figure hugging black cocktail dress then shoes that could have been made to measure.
The other side of the salon they were preparing another who I knew slightly, Number Nineteen Her short clinging cocktail dress a creamy ivory satin
The women fussed around us, chattering, but never to me or Nineteen . I felt the back of my hair lifted clear as one of them fastened a broad leather neck collar with TWENTY THREE in clear gold lettering glistening as I gazed at my image in the mirror,
Two managers came in and a woman I didn’t know stood back reverentially while reporting to them “ They are both ready now, as you see. Both have already masturbated and I’m sure both girls are beautifully lubricated”
I didn’t feel the slightest flicker of shame hearing her words. God how I seem to have changed.
We were led to a waiting room, , teetering in our extreme heels down the long carpeted corridor . A 5 star hotel feel of quiet luxury. A man I had never seen before, , good cool confident kind of guy gave us each two tiny yellow pills and had us swallow then.
I in a bit of a dream, sitting, utterly relaxed almost basking in the warm sensuality of my body, my outfit, of the setting when I brought back to reality by the sound of a low shuddering moan from the other .
She sitting opposite me, stunning in her creamy white satin dress but her eyes were closed, her beautifully manicured fingers spread over her breasts. She beginning to pant, to gasp and even from the other side of the room I could see her whole body trembling. I found myself scissoring my stocking thighs together as I watched this beautiful woman surrender to a wave of pure pleasure , to a shuddering gasping wave of orgasm, Between my own squeezed thighs I could feel my pretty underwear now sodden wet .
FIVE
I must have dozed off, when I wake I am sitting on the white leather sofa next to Nineteen but what has happened to the room ! Is it even the same room?
Its full of TV monitors , a man behind a control desk, about a dozen men, maybe one or two woman, sat in comfy chairs in a semi circle facing our sofa They are in shadow we sit under bright lights.
What is all this ?
A man in a black tie dinner suit is bending over me. He slaps my face, twice, not hard.
“Come on sweet thing wakey wakey we are ready for you”
He takes my arm and draws me to my feet. I find myself smoothing down the crumpled black satin of my dress, as always, wanting to look nice,
He leads me to a circular raised box about 18 inches high and helps me up. The spot lights swivel to find me.
A voice from a loudspeaker fills the room
“Welcome ladies and gentlemen and to on line bidders. If you check the details you were sent this is Twenty Three . Being sold for normal use for a trial period of48 hours It’s part of her final training”
Even my fuddled sex obsessed mind realised what happening. It an auction and I the one being sold!
The circular stand began to slowly rotate completing a full circle.
“As you see a fine body, particularly good arse. Tits could be perkier ” There a muttering from the watching group
“First round of bidding please” The watchers had tablets on their knees, I have no idea how much they were offering for me but the man at the control desk clearly did.
The speaker crackled
“Ladies and gentlemen we have our final four bidders who have been notified.” Another flurry of chatter “ All are on line None sadly here in person.”
“But, as regulars among you will know the next stage of the auction is to provide additional information and demonstration. Each final round bidder has submitted one request. Those of you here in person may not have successfully bid but you should find the next stage amusing”
A pause Drinks being served. I blinked into my shadowy surroundings but didn’t notice the man who approached me from one side and without a word unzipped my dress.
He worked it down over my hips and I meekly stepped out of it as I did so I heard a soft whirring and up saw a shinny steel tube, like a trapeze handle had lowered down and swaying about a foot above me. Still no words were spoken as the man .deftly lifted my left hand. and attached my wrist to a cuff. Then my other hand
I stretched tall, but not painfully so . In fact I found the posture strangely arousing.
I scanned the watchers, trying to imagine what they saw beneath the searching spotlights .
They would have seen a curvy blonde haired woman, dressed in gossamer fine lacey lingerie . Her full breasts lifted, aroused nipples clearly visible through the fine silk of her elegant bra. Her trimmed pussy, obvious through the lacey panties, already clearly clinging damply to her moist labia. Her toned legs clad in shimmering pure silk seamed stockings, held tautly in place my a gossamer laced suspender belt Ankles tensely arched in shinny black leather heels. The they could see clearly aroused. By then they kept me aroused 24/7 I remember.
Again the loudspeaker . I feeling quite detached . as if I observing what happening to the bound blonde woman but the silky smooth voice brought me back to earth.
“The first of our short list bidders code name Ai B has posted that he is impressed with 23’s breasts but would like to see how sensitive they are. That is easily done Al B. Simon, if you would be so kind”
The man who had stripped me stepped into my line of sight. I aware of his lewd lecherous grin as hh lifted my full soft breasts free of the gossamer silk bra. Flicking both erect nipples
I think I cried out.
Then he appeared with a vibrator . It a huge thing . Gazing at that big domed head it had I could hear is insistent buzzing.
I held my breath eyes on the buzzing head till the moment it touched my swollen left nipple and my body arched I think I cried out again as the vibrations coursed through my nipple, my breast and seemed to churn up my insides in a quivering spasm. Wide eyed, I gazed out at the watchers sitting in the surrounding shadows. Eyes blurred with tears as my suspended body bucked and jerked in a series of orgasms.
As I recovered my senses I aware of the man lifting the bra cups back over my aching breasts My swollen throbbing nipples that now had metal clips pinching them maintaining the hot pulses of pleasure that led to my orgasms .
Aware too of murmured chatter from the watchers, aware of my juices soaking my inner thighs Soaking warm and wet into the stretched welts of my stocking tops
Then that damned loudspeaker “ I think we can safely say that twenty three’s response to breast arousal is a joy to behold ”
SIX
Weirdly I think I half dozed but I suppose my sated body was utterly exhausted. Through a haze I heard the blonde woman crying out and wondered what thy were doing to her . Her cries were pitiful , heart rending animal moans . I heard a gruff male voice mutter “The bitch has passed out”
Then they came for me
I came round quickly, suddenly aware of my surroundings. My sweaty lingerie clad body, the watchers, the lights , the men hovering around me and those vicious clips still on my swollen nipples
I heard from the speaker “……. So again to No 23 and we are now at the stage of observing the sale lots being fucked”
Hands on my arms and legs as I was laid on a rubber mat on the floor Cold clammy hard rubber cold through the flimsy silk. The hands held my wrists , my ankles, spread wide open on my back on the mat.
Everyone gathered close, some had drawn up chairs other stood . I gazed up, into a sea of hungry stares. The room went quiet and I was aware of a tall slim man standing over me, between my legs.
The loudspeaker “ Many of us know Leo I am sure, he has kindly offered to be our tester. Over to you Leo “
I gazed up at this tall slim young mixed race man, his naked body hairless, sheened in oil or sweat. His cock utterly awesome. Thick as my wrist and long . I gazed breathlessly as it swayed thick and heavy between his slim taut thighs , his ball sack big bulging
The room was silent and the people holding me gripped my more tightly as Leo Lowered himself, holding his dark skinned body above me on his stretched arms. Surprisingly gently a hand drew the damp silk underwear aside and I moaned at the swaying brush of his cock head on my soaking swollen lips.
His cock was now fully erect He didn’t need the usual guiding hand to present the gleaming domed head to my drooling opening and part my swollen silky lips. The massive dome stretched me open but he didn’t push up me Just waited, my whole body quivering., The watchers breathless
The men holding my ankles drew my legs back, back almost to my shoulders Back and drawn to the side, and as they opened my eager body he pushed his enormous erection slowly slowly so so slowly up my soaking wet tunnel . It stretched, moving up me more and more of it stretching in an ecstasy of pain as he impaled me. My body exploded in a wild frenzy of pain, stretched full possessed pure pleasure and I heard a woman’s voice saying “Dear god she has taken all of it”
I think lost all conscious control, my mind was a spinning wild maelstrom of screaming pleasure as I heaved and writhed, screamed and shuddered on that huge thrusting beast of a cock.
While I was writhing and screaming he remained calm slowly drawing his shaft out of me then slowly deliberately burying the monster back . Again and again as my writhing sweating tortured body twisted against the firm grip of the four men holding me I was again teetering exhausted on the edge of some kind of madness when he suddenly withdrew completely and without ceremony I was dragged to me feet, and again suspended from stretched aching arms. Body jerking in after spasms. I dimly realised I was now naked.
I heard a deep guttural animal moan of pain and realised that Leo was now taking the blond girl.
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The beginnings of a short story ( editted)
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Posted:Dec 3, 2021 3:03 am
Last Updated:Jul 31, 2022 10:45 pm 7892 Views
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ONE
The heat from the blazing log fire was soporific. I felt myself drifting in and out of the conscious world . Slowly, dreamily slowly, I became aware of my surroundings Of more than just the flickering flames and the stifling heat and the insistent buzzing in my head .
The large oak panelled room was devoid of furniture With a shock I realised I was naked, lying on my side , with my wrists painfully bound behind my back. I was aware I was lying on a hard bare wooden floor. As if from a distance I heard myself whimpering softly.
I took a few deep breaths, tried to get a grip on the panic flooding through me . I tried to kneel up but couldn’t, weirdly aware of the weight of my breasts, the aching discomfort .Must be the way my back is arched by the wrist strapping. I shifted position to get more comfortable.
Now my mind was clearing. Where was I How did I get here? Memories drifted,, some clear some blurred, fantastical. My heart was pounding still on the edge of panic.
I clearly remember leaving the party with those two guys to go off to some kinky club I had never heard of. Wracking my brain I remember Was it the Hellfire Dungeon Club, The cool upper class type guys who had chatted me up made it sound so really crazy and wild I couldn’t resist their invite to join them on a visit.
The taxi ride was Short so I think the club was still in central London.
Then blank What in heavens name had happened at that Club?
I slept , dreamed wild dreams, dreams of crazy demons using my body in unimaginable ways Swirling light Me screaming, Pleasure? pain? Then a hand on my shoulder , shaking me awake My head lifted someone offering a glass of cool fresh water to my parched lips. I came round
Opening my eyes, a woman in a white lab coat is kneeling at my side Lifting my head onto her lap, my head lying her crisp starched lab coat, feeding me water, A Doctor, a nurse? She is smiling and I slowly realise with her free hand she is oh so gently caressing my naked breast. Do nurses do this? I feel an overwhelming surge of arousal.
Lifting me gently, she positions me on my knees, back arched painfully the cruel way my forearms are bound. Reaching from behind, her hands curl over my bare breasts , she begins to milked me , firmly– I heard myself moaning, my sexual arousal ever more intense
Oh god I am being watched ! I lift my eyes, gaze up at a man standing there Looming over me. He was tall, middled aged , elegantly dressed I don’t recognise him.
“She’s almost fully awake , sir” The nurse’s voice was accented Mid European? Still she rolled my erect nipples , still I moaned softly
His eyes examined me clinically, making me cringe in shame . He spoke, with that smooth, silky Old Etonian upper class drawl
“Welcome to your new home, twenty three You are going to be a great addition to our stock” He began to turn away and paused “Tell me Doctor, is 23 letting down any milk”
“No sir, no sign of milk but it responds well to the stimulation As you see”
Now I was wide awake, and very frightened, when the man still sneering his sardonic smile , reached down and squeezed my breast, Hard enough to hurt, making me cry out. He slapped my face and I was quiet.
He moved out of my line of sight and I heard a door close quietly. What did he mean calling me twenty three? Why was my body quivering with need?
The woman in the white lab coat helped me stand Led me to my room where I was to live for the next two or was it three weeks So my nightmare began but how had it started? I protest, argue, I was just so accepting of what was happening to me. Utterly docile
TWO
I gradually came to learn that they kept me drugged, that they had first drugged me in the Uber cab on the way to the Hell Fire Club. I recalled being desperately in need for some serious sexual attention but I recalled little of what happened or even of the place itself . I just remember an almost animal like hunger for sex, for cock Any cock .
It seems the club visit was their way of checking if women they targeted had the right sexual appetites. Others have since told me they watch and even take notes as they offer women to lots of people . I don’t remember how many men or maybe even women had me. I do remember that utter satisfied exhaustion you only feel after lots and lots of sex.
It seems I passed the test since I was drugged but this time not to stimulate me but to knock me out . I was stripped and left bound by that fire until one of the Directors arrived to see me.
Then I was led to this large comfortable room. With its door bolts and window bars.
I am never usually remotely the passive type But now? Now I just accept everything contentedly certainly without any urge to object. Looking back I realise this is just not me. They are training me , moulding me into a new woman a different person I am not sure what for .All I know now is my daily routine keeps me in a state of arousal and that I now seem to be utterly docile
I am woken , no idea what time , daylight anyway . The Nurse or Doctor or whoever she is gives me a quick physical and takes blood .The drugs they give me mean it is critical I have daily blood tests The drugs and other medicines are sometimes injected but usually in my drink or pills
All I know is I now feel so very docile and at the same time so very sexually responsive. I become aroused very quickly, intensely . And my body is changing, I recall when I started on the pill my breasts have swelled a cup size and are a lot more sensitive But overall I feel fit, toned. The nurse let slip while chatting that eventually if they judge my drugs perfectly I will be in a constant state of arousal and need, I feel close to that now.
Then I am dressed . What they have me wear varies but usually just a gown, a robe. I make my way down for breakfast.. Down the big wooden staircase , of this strange Victorian mansion.
There are other people at the big long dining table. Men I don’t recognise who undress me with their eyes and sneer knowingly. Other members of staff who never speak and quite often one or two other girls. I can tell they are being trained like me by how slightly spaced out they seems and they are like me wearing just these flimsy robes..
I used to limit myself to a smoothie and oaty biscuit for breakfast but now I am fed eggs, sliced ham, more eggs, and lots of fruit , Weird I am not putting on weight., If anything I am more toned.
After breakfast they take me to a training room. White walled, clinical. Every day different Day after day every day more sexually intense
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THREE
I lost count of the days , the training sessions but I knew with absolute clarity that my need for sex built day by day, with every training session, every injection. That all my living thought .swirled around my desperate need to be used, to give pleasure.
I remember other little flashes from that time. Frequent pain , clearly recall weeping in anguish as they trained me to orgasm on demand The need to orgasm to please overwhelming all other thoughts..
And occasionally one of the sharp suited directors would silently watch my training or observe my morning medical.
Today’s training reached new levels after days of pelvic muscle exercises with those different sized dildos and vibrators. As usual once in the training room the nurse stripped me of my gown and had me lie naked on the rubber covered padded treatment table .
As so often before I was bound spreadeagled . She fingered my labia experimentally, casually, with a rubber gloved finger.I already knew how very very wet I was.
Hearing the door open I turned my head. A man I hadn’t seen before standing there. Young, no more than 20 maybe 25, He looked like a boxer, a rugby player, When he dropped his dressing gown his naked body confirmed the look. My eyes immediately went to his very erect very impressive cock .
I half heard the nurse.
“You have taken you pills ? Do you need to have a quick orgasm to calm down a bit , sweetheart”
He nodded, stroking his up thrusting swollen penis
“Well, make it quick We have training planned for twenty three”
She returned to the desk in the corner to her laptop The bull of a man without ceremony or greeting climbed onto me and in a moment penetrated soaking pussy, Holding himself over me on stiff arms. His rapid thrusts were painful but in my confused state I relished the stabbing pain. My body responded quickly, lubricating profusely My juices flood from me in warm pulses Soon I could hear the wet sloppy sounds of every thrust. It was over in just a few minutes as with a grunt he exploded inside me, climbed off me, found a chair and took the proffered mug of coffee..
I was left spreadeagled on the table, still quivering, mewling in the aftershock of the harsh use. I felt a flood of shame when the nurse used swabs to clean up the mess from my gaping vagina.
My training began. More pelvic muscle exercises in. The boxer, half hard penetrated my open lubricated vagina easily .The nurse hissed at me, shouted, cajoled , urged
“Push down girl”
“ Match his rhythm 23”
“ Feel him swell inside you ? ”
“Squeezed that penis harder 23”
He was very erect again in no time. It was exhausting. On and on, the man came two, three times. Moaning I quivered through waves of orgasm. I was barely aware of what was happening. Of when the nurses fingers replaced the big cock and she hissed her instructions to squeeze, to rotate my hips , to clench my whole belly. I was adrift in a blissful sea of sexual pleasure, writhing sweating, in my heart knowing this is what I was prepared for.
Then finally itt was over, my body shaking exhausted I was cleaned and led back to my room for yet another deep drug induced sleep..
Was it just three weeks? Maybe four, it must have been more. I had to sign various documents during this period, A paper trail. Explaining my absence My unexpected holiday invite to a villa in Spain, how I planned to stay awhile Their cover story.
FOUR
It was obvious it was going to be a very different day from the moment they woke me. They allowed me to use a toy to masturbate while they completed the medical before taking me to a lovely room I’d never seen before, fully kitted out like spa, like a classy beauty salon, Clad in crisp white overalls, beauticians saw to my nails , my make up, all after a hair was washed and cut and had been blow dried, looking very fluffy and feminine in the mirror. Not my usual style at all!
Then I was dressed, expensive gorgeous lingerie, so sensual on my sensitised body Then zipped into a classic figure hugging black cocktail dress and shoes that could have been made to measure. They were preparing another girl I knew slightly as number nineteen as I was being prepared but her dress was creamy white. Her beautiful young face looked serene but as if barely conscious of what they were doing .
They lifted the back of my hair to fasten a broad leather neck collar with TWENTY THREE in clear gold lettering The letters glistening as I gazed at my image in the mirror,
Two managers came in and a woman I didn’t know stood back reverentially while reporting to them.
“Both objects are ready now, as you see.sir. Both have already masturbated and will remain highly lubricated”
I didn’t feel the slightest flicker of shame hearing her words. God How they seem to have changed.me.
G xxx.
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Thoughts on objectification
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Posted:Aug 27, 2021 11:08 pm
Last Updated:Jul 26, 2022 10:21 pm 7346 Views
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I hope this sounds less like an academic paper but here goes with a new blog. And PLEASE I would love hear what you think.
I have had a guilty secret since way back , I realised I respond some particular usually embarrassing situations in a sexual way, but a different sort of arousal
There experiences have included being treated roughly, being talked about ( in sexual terms) as if I wasnt in the room, and all the many ways men have treated me as a "collection of body parts" not a complete person. The list goes on and on.
And with each experience the usual sudden quiver of arousal
Then I began chatting on Alt, and also reading other stuff. I learned that objectification is an established understood aspect of a submissive nature.
Now in conversation, in experimental on line scenes and looking back at episodes in my life I can recognise what triggers that so different convulsion of arousal.
The very way men talk about "using" me is the start, "nice tits make a great milk cow" it goes on . In an on line scene when the man has finished he says "anyone else want her holes" I just pray someone wants me.
I will add these thoughts as I examine my self - and others
G xx
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Just for my own benefit really
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Posted:Apr 4, 2021 1:50 am
Last Updated:Jan 8, 2022 10:15 pm 10176 Views
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So I thought , day here Alt I am already finding some fascinating people and learning, thinking new thoughts so why not keep a blog so I can back over the experience.
I doubt others will find especially interesting but that depends where goes.
So today's new thoughts as at 4th April 2021
* I have discovered already that half of guys address as slut; so I seem have joined the rooms with Slut in the . If I am seen as a slut I need act like a slut.
* I have been sensibly advised make my photo a bit blurred to avoid obvious recognition. Think how tricky that might be.
* I hadnt heard of parties where the guys are dressed but alll the women naked. Ask yourself how that thought makes you respond?
* I tried clothes pegs on my nipples for the first, and a little later, the second time. I think may be a whole Blog about that. Briefly first time I lasted about ten seconds and took them off ( ouchie!) quickly thinking "This is just plain sore and not nice" but an hour later I realised I wanted to experienc eit again and this time lasted 20 minutes timed by Alexa. After a while I began to realise it was something different, something I hadnt expected, More later on this topic
And yes, I have met some really nice people so for me Alt is definiely 8/ so far
So loyal readers a new bulletin shortly
And here we are, 8th of April and more doors open
So my 2nd report mostly for myself on the last days
* Met a few really nice guys I could actually imagine meeting out in the real world . No names
* Had a nice long about how "edging" can be experiencedon line
* The whole clothes peg thing has galloped ahead two HUGE events record in this diary.. One, a lovely friend made a suggestion about removing pegs when really excited using my vibrator. She knew exactly what she was talking about . Its now going to be a regular pleasure. The second one a need to try again involving pegs and showe jets . Dont think I have the right sort of shower head for that one to work.
* Made a big realisation. Guys in Alt are just like guys out .Some are really nice guys you are happy moved a quiet corner table with , even though you know what they are after, Other end of the scale , lots that in real life you'd the cops
* Learning a whole new vocabulary too . Next time I will list out all the new words and phrases date.
* Watched my first full sex scene. Still dont know if eithe rof them had an orgasm but it was exciting as hell for the audience . More of those I hope
So go Blogland, progress report Two
Report
And here we are 8th of April and I have disscoved the fun be had making "annonymised" profile pictures. Going be my next hobby.
Also, fascinating about "objectification" and "dollification" Some really deep thinking guys here I now realise. The two things are very different but in terms of how I respond them they have real parallels . More wojk needed
Did I say I briefly joined in a scene . Leasr said the better but fun, Interesting
Need find a better way of doing a rolling Blog than this . Another little task , Decided ther eare some really bright, witty nice people here on Alt Not all though believe me
End of brief Blog report
So here we are th April and I feel like a real Alt regular. Even got called a "wannabee slut" by s*** ( you know you are) and I was actually quite proud of myself.
So what report, a lovely Spanish lady showed a so clever way of playing with clothes pegs in the shower, ask if you need details not explaining here. I am being pursued by two guys insist i will just love being "mounted" by a hairy dog. Despite endless protestations I have agreed watch some on line video of but I just know I will find horrible.
The whole D'/s dynamic is fascinating isn t ?
I am now satisfied that at some level my needs are submissive but I have nothing in common with the "pain slut" slave type. Fascinating about humiliation and objectification is what brought it into focus. With a certain nervousness I changed my profile to "submissive"
A whole new interest is Dom Homework required. First site I looked at mentioned nappies so I almost have but it can be more thoughtful than that I think
So another report . Love hear feedback
th April, no idea if anyone reads this stuff. But do I care?
Met some nive guys in that Dom room, I do like the atmosphere I admit
Not sure changing my profile say submissive has made any difference. no one reads that stuff either.
My latest plan is get watch some "scenes" but I dont seem find any yet . A sweet guy said just watching some scenes will really get me going. We'll see. So hopefully my next report all will be revealled
Report Five ( I think) on 19th April
A bit disappointed no new progress report kinky party invites and a terrible confession. I am trying I truly am but finding myself oddly held back from getting into scenes . Perhaps I will learn in time because it looks fun and I can see it can be really arousing . Any hints or suggestions welcome
My other new interest is why humiliation and objectification are so closely intertwined with all this on so many levels Still working on that one . Met a few lovely new guys by the way . You know who you are
Report 23rd April
Long debate with a guy who seemed really down earth, genuine. The sort of you'd have in a bar. He didnt mention my tits or call me "slut" or mention dogs. Not even once. So you see there are hints of reality here., And we got discussing how many profiles are fake., Interesting topic Decided maybe one third totally fake, one third pretending to have experience or "skils" they didnt remotely have and one third reasonably genuine But i liked his final comment He said, it doesnt matter . That I should just accept people here for what they claim to be in this virtual world, Interesting thought.
Had lots of compliments on my new green hat, must try harder to make a more presentable version . I'm enjoying making comedy profile pictures
Had a couple of visits to "hard core " rooms, Isnt it amazing how quickly the mood in a room can build. But there is always the Leave Button if it gets too much
More visits planned
Here we are 4th May
So its been more than a month and I am still here and I have learned so many things. Some good some not good. I have learned that BDSM attracts some men with truly mean and nasty thoughts about women. And some women even worse . But I have met and chatted to some really interesting thoughtful people, and some really sweet people who make me smile.
I sometimes need reminding that sex should be fun, I mean laugh out loud fun, sometimes but not always. You guys seem to forget that too
I am slowly edging towards on line encounters "scenes" as a way of exploring my own responses to things. I admit I am not sure I can let myself go like I hav eseen some girls manage We'll see won't we Had a lovely chat with a girl in a room called a Breeding Barn. I just know I am going to visit again. Of all the rooms that one seems to get my pulse racing.
Had another party invite contact but no parties planned in this dreadful world of lockdown. Watch this space
My new hobby has become making fun profile images Need to try to make a few more professional ones of course So far all a bit cheep and cheerful but if they make people smile I am fine with it.
A whole new issue has come up, funny, one guy mentions something and suddenly four seem be into it. Its breast feeding and milking. I know obviously breast feeding is an almost serene highly erotic experience but who would have thought people us goat milking machines, Its true , goat ! I was sent a link to a videop of it. Not sure it will ever be my " do list" Love hear from people with experience though
Its a never ending journey isnt it!!!
G xx
Another new phase of my Alt Journey
Starting to really enjoy "scenes" in particular I have had two scenes in a room called The Breeding Barn . I had no idea it could get to you the way it does and I think the guys enjoy having me there . Special thanks to girl
A very artistic guy has convinced really try harder with my profile pictures. Make them a bit less jokey . I like the fun aspect and might find seriously erotic images more difficult live with. I am thinking about it. Again any ideas welcome
We ll here we are and its June already and I havent updated this for weeks. Why? Becauseas well as planning where I go with this real time I have been learning so much more about line sex. Cyber
I know many mock the experience and say of course it isnt like real life. Obviously! But it has elements a more mental level that arouse the sensations and responses you reach in real life.
I sense someone should do a PhD on this but let me try put my thoughts down.
Firstly, like sexual encounters in real life it can be good, amazing or not so good. I suppose it is down my mood but more down the partner, the leader of the scene.
So partners, the men. I now appreciate are what its about, Just a handful of guys
( so far!) seem get going. They are skillful, knowing, clever guys . ( You know who you are)
When I let myself go and let the scene take over with these guys I reach a mental state I have not often experienced before. I am told it is allowing my submissive nature free but I just know it is a weird but soul shaking sort of arousal. Certainly sexual but not like having sex, Explain that one!
I find such pleasure knowing the guy is in the moment with me and maybe is feeling similar arousal, But obviously I cant judge that I do know once or twice what has fely like 30 min flying by in a blur, in fact more than two hours have gone by. Explain that one, guys.
So cyber use , cyber surrender, is a route to sexual sensations in its own right, Dont compare it to the realkity of hot sweaty skin on skin pleasure, Accept it for the pleasure it can bring
GL
Been a LONG time since my last post . Wanted to muse about the men here, I mean whats not to like about musing about men ?
I have a statistical mind and put the guys I have contacted here in catagories. First the special guys I mentioned before, Just a handful, I sense they would be much the in real life as here, They have a sort of integrity . I love that these guys who are so clever at creating exciting cyber scenes are open about their arousal and pleasure. Makes helping with that pleasure a great delight. Statistically less than 5% of the guys who contact here.
The biggest group I suggest 30% plus are obviously "wannabe" fake fantiscists who I sense "get off " talking any woman about their usually sadistic and brutal approach women. I guess in real life most of these guys are not good at mixing normally with women., Am Ibeing too harsh them?
Another group are what I consider the "specialist" interests . Some have been eye opeing and unexpected. Most I couldnt imagine for one momnent ever really doing. Examples are
1. Sex with dogs. What, be serious!
2 Extreme bondage . Intersting bit doesnt do anything for me. I can appreciate the skill involved.
3. Milking machines . At first the thought was horrifying. Now not so sure. Might be an interesting experience
4. Whips crops and floggers, so many here seem love giving and receiving. Cant get my head round it but I fully accept many learn love it.
5. The fetishists , leather and rubber I totally get having gone through a slightly "goth steam punk leather biker" phase .
6. The satins, stockings and lace set, whats not to like
I am guessing this group art 25%
Been suprised to find a group maybe 10% who seem to be voyeurs . Watching but not contributing.
Submissive males dont seem to contact much maybe % I estimate
Finally a fascinating group , the trans lot., Been amazed what very lovely people most seem be Just sorry I know so little of their world but heard some fascinating stories so far from this %
Big question, did that add 100%? Other question, do you agree with my assessments?
G xx
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