Thrills And Thresholds, The Pleasure In Pain
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張貼於:2023年 11月 12日 10:07 pm
最近編輯過:2023年 12月 2日 2:27 am 17428 瀏覽
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Pain is a complex and multifaceted sensation that varies greatly from person to person. In the world of BDSM, the dynamics of pain take on a unique and consensual context. Participants engage in activities that incorporate various degrees of pain to explore pleasure, dominance, and submission. It is important to note, before getting started, that many who are involved in BDSM choose to not incorporate pain into how they practice BDSM. Still, for those who do or are curious, this post delves into how individuals process and tolerate pain in BDSM activities, offering insights and techniques for maximizing pleasure while minimizing any harm.
BDSM practitioners often refer to the concept of "pain processing" as the capacity to experience, interpret, and endure pain within a
controlled and consensual environment. Pain processing is a highly individualized experience, influenced by physical, emotional, and psychological factors. Key elements in pain processing include:
Consent and Trust: BDSM activities are built upon trust and clear consent between participants. Establishing boundaries and safe words is crucial to ensuring that all involved parties are comfortable with the level of pain they are experiencing.
Psychological State: An individual's psychological state significantly impacts their pain processing ability. Emotions like fear, anticipation, or arousal can alter pain perception. Some people find that pain intensifies their pleasure, while for others, it may decrease their threshold.
Physical Factors: Physical factors, such as a person's general health, pain tolerance, and individual sensitivities, play a role in pain processing. Pain thresholds can vary widely between individuals.
Techniques and Tools: BDSM practitioners employ various techniques and tools to manipulate and control the intensity of pain, including restraints, impact play, and sensory deprivation. Learning to use these tools safely is essential for maximizing pleasure and minimizing harm.
BDSM activities often involve pushing physical and emotional boundaries, but safety and consent are paramount. Here are some key considerations for pushing boundaries safely:
1. Communication: Open and honest communication is vital. Participants should discuss their desires, limits, and boundaries before engaging in any BDSM activity. A safe word or gesture should be established to indicate when a participant wishes to stop or slow down.
2. Start Slowly: It is crucial to start slowly and, gradually increase the intensity of the activities. This allows participants to acclimate to the sensations and ensures that no one is pushed too far, or too quickly.
3. Educate and Seek Guidance: Participants must educate themselves about BDSM practices and techniques. Seeking guidance from experienced practitioners, attending workshops, or reading educational materials can provide valuable insights.
4. Aftercare: Aftercare is a critical component of BDSM activities. After an intense scene, participants should engage in a process of emotional and physical care, which may include cuddling, reassurance, and addressing any potential psychological or emotional triggers.
BDSM practitioners aim to create a balance between pleasure and pain while minimizing the risk of injury. Here are some techniques for achieving this balance:
1. Sensory Play: Incorporating sensory play, such as using feathers, ice, or hot wax, can heighten the sensations and provide a more balanced experience.
2. Safety Precautions: Practitioners should use safe and sterile equipment, follow hygiene guidelines, and be well-versed in first aid practices in case of any accidents.
3. Feedback and Adjustment: Continuous communication and feedback during BDSM activities allow participants to make real-time adjustments, ensuring that the experience remains pleasurable and within agreed-upon boundaries.
4. Self-Care: Participants should prioritize self-care, both before and after BDSM sessions. This includes staying well-hydrated, getting enough rest, and engaging in activities that promote mental and emotional well-being.
The world of BDSM offers a unique and consensual space where the interplay of pleasure and pain takes center stage. Pain processing, an intensely personal experience, hinges on trust, communication, and a deep understanding of one's own and their partner's boundaries. While pushing boundaries is a fundamental aspect of BDSM, it must always be done with utmost care, ensuring that all involved parties feel safe and respected.
To maximize pleasure and minimize harm, practitioners should prioritize open communication, a gradual approach to intensity, and comprehensive aftercare. Safety precautions and self-care are also crucial, underlining the importance of maintaining physical and emotional well-being throughout the experience.
In the end, BDSM is about more than just pain; it is about the consensual exchange of power and the exploration of desires. It's a deeply intimate journey that allows participants to delve into their fantasies and trust their partners in ways that few other experiences can replicate. As long as it's built upon a foundation of trust, consent, and a commitment to safety, BDSM can be a fulfilling and transformative experience for all involved.
©TLK2023
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Why the Caged Bird Sings
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張貼於:2023年 11月 10日 8:03 am
最近編輯過:2023年 11月 13日 4:51 am 12974 瀏覽
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She feels safe and protected. Whereas some might view the bars of a cage as being confining, she sees them as a barrier constructed to keep out all of the negative and destructive influences of the world. Her cage is a cocoon in which she nestles as if in a warm blanket on a cold night.
Her needs are anticipated and taken care of. How wonderful to think of the one who possesses her as thinking ahead to all of the things she might need to make her healthy and happy…and then making sure those things are all readily available when she needs them.
She is no longer responsible for making endless decisions. As part of the outside world, she is bombarded constantly with the need to make decisions… some small and some of life-altering proportions. Within the confines of her cage, she need only worry about singing her song and with that voice letting her Master know she is content to live within his power and control because she knows He thinks only of her well-being.
Being owned means also being chosen above all others. And that sense of belonging to one who really wants her is a powerful feeling not easily replaced. Having his pick of all the singing birds in the land, her Master selected her to place within His home…and His heart. She feels honored to be so chosen and sings freely to show her devotion.
Freedom is a relative term meaning different things to different people. To this bird of song, the true freedom to pursue her dreams and desires could never be found outside of her captivity…captive in a home specially prepared for her by the one who considers her His greatest possession. Her captivity by Him sets her free.
~gingerpowerserotica
*Archive
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Let’s Talk Submissive Safety...
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張貼於:2023年 11月 9日 7:36 pm
最近編輯過:2024年 4月 20日 12:34 am 11515 瀏覽
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Walking the journey of a submissive can be one that is both difficult, and fraught with personal danger, but there are many ways to make that journey safer. Let’s talk about some of how YOU as a submissive, can minimize your risk while pursuing your kink journey…
DON’T GO IT ALONE!!
In isolation, you have no one to turn to for help. One of the single most disturbing types of asks I have gotten over the years has been from submissive people who find themselves in an unhealthy relationship with a partner they are living with, but have nowhere to go, and no one to support their leaving. Once you cease trusting someone’s intentions toward you, you need to have a place to bail out, and people who will support a healthy decision to get out, and start over. Without a backup plan, an abusive relationship can evolve unchecked, with the abuser able to feel like they have the run on their destructive behavior without accountability.
THERE IS SAFETY IN NUMBERS…
Once an abuser understands that you have support and that their behavior may lead them to trouble with the law, obliterate their reputation within a community of kink, or in any way become answerable for their actions, it becomes more complicated for an abuser to run the table on your limits and consent.
LEARN
How can learning keep you safe? You’re reading this post, aren’t you? If you take to heart some of what is laid out herein, will you not be safer? The more you know about the rules and etiquette surrounding kink, the less likely you are to be taken in by those who aren’t interested in pesky “safewords”, or other obvious signs you’re not speaking to someone who should be considered for your submission.
FIRST “IN REAL LIFE” MEETINGS
If you’re meeting a prospective dominant in real life for the first time, do it in a public place. A dominant who would be a good candidate for your submission will not try to steer you from meeting in a public place or push you towards doing things that would take you away from that public place.
TELL SOMEONE WHAT YOU’RE DOING
When meeting a prospective Dominant for the first time, tell someone you know and trust what you’re doing, and arrange to check in with them several times during your date so they know it is going well, and you are safe. If a prospective Dominant has a problem with this safe practice, do not meet them, or exit the date promptly when that is made known.
SCREENING CANDIDATES
One of the most important skills a submissive can hone is their ability to screen prospective Dominants. During this time you can ask a million questions about their views on life, philosophies in kink, experience, personal lives, or what kind of dynamic they would build with you, and their plan for carrying it out. This is a time to get to know and trust the person who you may ask to control multiple aspects of your life. You want to really KNOW this person. Nothing is more dangerous than an excited submissive who throws caution to the wind in this realm. Being a good screener is part of being a good, safe submissive.
SAFEWORDS
Never let a Dominant forbid you from keeping or using a safeword as a way of stopping anything that may prove beyond your limits within your dynamic. While some D/s couples choose to put them aside and respect a basic, “no”, or “stop” from their partners, the safeword is meant to be one of the few universally understood last vestiges of power a submissive holds within any power dynamic. Any dominant who limits or forbids you to keep one, and use one, is to be avoided. If you are being pushed past your limits without a way to make it stop, you are being abused.
Be A Smart and Safe Submissive
~JD@OneLittleKingdom
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Our Story (A Poem)
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張貼於:2023年 11月 7日 5:55 am
最近編輯過:2024年 4月 20日 12:33 am 10845 瀏覽
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The bed at the center of it all–
the way you never felt like a stranger,
Instead like someone, I had forgotten, like
a part of myself I had dropped in some
distant city delivered
back to my door.
Our story,
a pipe dream in three parts–
My bedroom, the place where everything
came together, and the place where everything
fell apart.
There are still echoes of us
in the bed frame, the closet, and the drywall.
I keep your dignity on the bookshelf;
I figure you’ll come looking for it, eventually.
It always comes back
to here.
The only sanctuary I have ever known
still smells like you, sometimes.
just when I think I’ve gotten you
out of the pillowcases,
I find your cologne on the walls.
I remember when you came apart in pieces
on the carpet, and I will never be able
to wash the heartbreak out of the floors.
Someday,
I will leave our story behind, in this city.
This apartment will be barren and then
it will be full of other people.
None of them will know our names;
they will track over our history like
re-recording over old videotapes.
I won’t miss you.
Or I will miss you,
but I’ll have bought a new mattress:
one that doesn’t know how you twitch in your sleep.
I will have a new bedroom and the floorboards
won’t know how to moan your name
like I do.
and we’ll fall asleep
in different beds,
in different cities.
And if I wake up from dreams
that still taste like you,
I can take comfort in the fact
that even though you have kissed me,
you have never kissed me
here.
~Caitlyn Siehl
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You’re living. Keep that up.
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張貼於:2023年 11月 6日 4:06 am
最近編輯過:2023年 11月 13日 10:15 am 12257 瀏覽
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You’re living.
Keep that up.
Wait up for the moon sometimes or get up early to see a sunrise, just because you can.
Jump in the lake. Run, skip.
The things you need to feel alive are free and all around, my friend.
You just have to see them.
Let in opportunity and say yes to the invitations that scare you a little, in a good way.
Say no to some of the things you force yourself to do, knowing they rinse you of your peace.
Life was never supposed to be a waiting room, it was supposed to be a hillside,
with paths leading in every direction and mountains as far as the eye can see,
hiding adventures and new friends behind them.
Don’t let yourself get to the end of this ride without having stopped to smell those beautiful roses.
That’s the only thing you need to fear in this life.
Everything else is all part of it.
It’s all just a messy, complicated, beautiful, and terrifying part of it.
Chin up, throw your arms wide open.
and let it be so.
— Donna Ashworth, “No Waiting Room”
Photo of Roses: From My Garden
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~Sunday Sway
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張貼於:2023年 11月 5日 10:06 am
最近編輯過:2023年 11月 7日 6:19 am 12367 瀏覽
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* Long Time ~ Blondie ~ Pollinator
* Angel From Montgomery ~ Bonnie Raitt~ Streetlights
* Sunday Morning ~ Maroon 5 ~ Songs About Jane
* The Sky Is Crying ~ Stevie Ray Vaughn ~ The Sky Is Crying
* Have You Seen Me Lately? ~ Counting Crowes ~ Across A Wire ~ Live In New York
* Flower Power ~ Greta Van Fleet ~ From The Fires
* Hearts And Bones ~ Paul Simon ~ The Essential Paul Simon
* Your Bright Baby Blues ~ Jackson Browne ~ The Pretender
* The Beautiful Ones ~ Prince ~ Purple Rain
* I Am The Moon ~The White Buffalo ~ Darkest Darks ,Lightest Lights
Your Bright Baby Blues ~ Jackson Browne
I'm sitting down by the highway
Down by that highway side
Everybody's going somewhere
Riding just as fast as they can ride
I guess they've got a lot to do
Before they can rest assured
Their lives are justified
Pray to God for me baby
He can let me slide
I've been up
And down this highway
Far as my eyes can see
No matter how fast I run
I can never seem
To get away from me
No matter where I am
I can't help thinking
I'm just a day away
From where I want to be
Now I'm running home baby
Like a river to the sea
Baby if you can see me
Out across this wilderness
There's just one thing
I was hoping you might guess
Baby, you can free me
All in the power of
Your sweet tenderness
I can see it in your eyes
You've got those bright baby blues
You don't see what you've got to gain
But you don't like to lose
You watch yourself from the sidelines
Like your life is a game
You don't mind playing
To keep yourself amused
I don't mean to be cruel baby
But you're looking confused
Baby if you can hear me
Turn down your radio
There's just one thing
I want you to know
When you've been near me
I've felt the love
Stirring in my soul
It's so hard to come by
That feeling of peace
This friend of mine said
Close your eyes
And try a few of these
I thought I was flying like a bird
So far above my sorrow
When I looked down
I was standing on my knees
Now I need someone to help me
Someone to help me, please
Baby if you need me
Like I know I need you
There's just one thing
I'll ask you to do
Take my hand and lead me
To the hole in your garden wall
And pull me through
Pull me through
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The Perfect Sub
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張貼於:2023年 11月 3日 5:08 am
最近編輯過:2023年 11月 7日 3:21 am 13291 瀏覽
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My early beliefs about D/s were shaped by a series of pretty emotionally abusive relationships. And by shit, I read in the weird crevices of the internet. For a long time, I didn’t know any better.
Pair that with the fact that I’m a perfectionist and you got some pretty dicey situations. And I’m not talking oh, I like to do well - I’m talking a nearly pathological need to be perfect.
I used to think the perfect sub would take whatever they were given and beg for more. I used to think the perfect sub would never have to use their safeword. I used to think the perfect sub was always willing, ready, and available.
I used to think the perfect sub didn’t have limits. Or that if they did then they’d happily push and test and abandon those limits to please their Dom(me).
I used to think the perfect sub didn’t make waves, didn’t ask for too much, and didn’t need more than what they were given.
I used to think the perfect sub was focused entirely on the relationship and on pleasing their Dom(me) and that nothing was ever - EVER - more important than that.
I used to think the perfect sub was pleasing, quiet, agreeable, soft, and pliant. Always. Without exception.
But now I know better.
The perfect sub has limits and safewords when it gets to be too much. The perfect sub is not afraid to safeword whenever and whyever they need to.
The perfect sub has needs and speaks up about those needs because they know that their Dom(me) is not a mind reader.
The perfect sub has expectations, requirements, and beliefs that they bring to the relationship. The perfect sub has deal breakers and things that will not be negotiated.
The perfect sub is not always ready, not always willing, and not always available - and that’s okay.
The perfect sub has a life and focus outside of the relationship. The perfect sub has interests, hobbies, friends, and a life. And sometimes that life requires attention.
The perfect sub doesn’t necessarily like everything that’s depicted in porn. The perfect sub can’t necessarily deepthroat or take a spanking or be tied up in elaborate positions.
The perfect sub knows that communication is key. And knows that it’s okay to stand up for themselves. And knows that their Dom(me) is not a god but a human.
And the perfect sub is human too, which means that they’re not really perfect at all.
And that’s okay.
I’m learning.
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The Game
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張貼於:2023年 11月 1日 5:14 am
最近編輯過:2024年 3月 1日 5:49 am 15381 瀏覽
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Placed upon my knees with two simple commands: “Place your hands just above my knees and do not let go. You may squeeze as hard as you need to. You will maintain eye contact at all times.”
He asks, “Do you know what I am going to do?” I answer, “Yes Sir. You are going to hurt me.” He asks “Why am I going to hurt you?” I answer, “Because you can Sir. I am yours to hurt.” He responds, “That’s right my little one. But you need me to hurt you. Don’t you little one?” I answer, “Yes Sir, I need it. I need it to hurt ”
Then He begins the nipple torture without another word. It can vary from His fingers to clothespins slowly squeezed to clover clamps with the chain slowly pulled over time.
If He sees I need encouragement or to borrow His will, He gently talks me through it.
When He is satisfied with the “peak” of the torture, He tells me how well I’ve done, and how beautiful I am like this while backing off the pressure/force.
He then tells me, “It’s time. These need to come off. And you know you will suffer. I am right here for you. Are you ready?” I answer, “Yes Sir. I am ready to suffer. Thank you, Sir.”
Understand that this moment is different. There is no escape. Even a safeword only means releasing the clamps. The pain will occur. And it will be a fucking insane pain for a few nanoseconds. But the die has been cast and safety demands release and the return of the blood flow to full force.
He describes my cries (screams?) as singing. He often tells me “That’s it, sing for me. I love your song.” And while this isn’t often the catharsis of sobs, there are tears gently streaming. And those tears running down onto my now overly sensitive nipples are their own kind of pain often followed by the warmth of His mouth leading to yet another flood of brain chemistry from adrenaline, endorphins, and oxytocin.
If you ask Him, and I have, He’d tell you that this position, hands just above his knees, close up, eyes locked gives him more of a feedback loop of my pain and endorphin rushes. The way I hold, squeeze, and release during allows Him to feel my experience as it happens, as well as see my soul.
And nipples have the bonus of releasing oxytocin, especially in the female. Oxytocin is the love and bonding hormone. It is so powerful when combined with eye contact that a newborn’s focal point is the average distance from the nipple to the eyes of its mother. There’s a reason we call it the love hormone or love drug. It’s designed to imprint the two onto each other's brain and soul.
There is a unique intimacy and connection in so simple of an act.
You don’t need decades of skill, thousands of dollars of accumulated leather toys, or a dungeon.
*All you need is trust in each other and the two-dollar pack of clothespins or a set of chained clover clamps.
~submissive-seeking.
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Safewords.
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張貼於:2023年 10月 31日 7:19 am
最近編輯過:2023年 11月 3日 3:34 am 14201 瀏覽
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• Safewords should be determined during negotiations, clothed, before any play takes place.
• They should be something clear and concise, something easy to remember.
• Basic and generally accepted safewords are RED, MERCY, SAFE.
• Begging is not a safeword, stop is not a safeword.
• There are such things as non-verbal safewords: a drop, finger snap, or hand gesture.
• Remember to check in: are you with Me? Do you remember your safeword?
• Use the finger spread method to let your Top know how much distress you’re in: the wider the fingers are spread the more intense the pain.
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