Scammers, fakers and time wasters
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Posted:Sep 10, 2022 2:18 am
Last Updated:Dec 29, 2023 3:06 am 1944 Views
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Sep 2022 - Over the years I have come to learn that this space has some wonderful, genuine people who love BDSM in all its forms. But there are also many others who are just not serious, they are frustrating time wasters.
Some people are fake, have fake profiles. Often they say they are, 'no limits' people.
really?! Everyone has limits and the genuine folk understand that trust comes first and most will want to understand the other so they can determine if the match is good. Some of this group are just playing games, in effect time wasters but many will have profile photos but usually only one. The profile is also mostly empty - no detail, no real descriptions etc, no kink list. Any one getting a 'I am a no limits sub, Sir' type message, just be aware that they are likely just messing around.
The 'chatter box' type just appear for chat. Rarely do they pay for membership so depend on use of credits to do anything. They never agree to move beyond chatting. Well, fine for those who want this but please be honest about it. They are in fact easy to spot. They want the respondent to describe in detail what they will do to them. If you just want to do fantasy, then these types are fine, mostly harmless but very frustrating for those of us into real action! These can also be typified by very infrequent visits to the site. When they turn up, they are intense and even though you may think there is rapport, they don't appear again for days or weeks. OK, some (and I know a couple) do have life issues to deal with and the good people often have profile information that shows they are genuine (testimonials, videos, extensive photo gallery etc).
Scammers are those who are out to rob you. Many fakers are also scammers and of course a scammer is a faker too! They are after your money or personal details. The rules are, never ever give personal details unless you know for certain that the correspondent is genuine. Take time to tease them out and if you do, report to admin who will deal accordingly.
One ploy I use when someone pops us showing super high levels of interest is to ask for a very specific photo to be prepared and sent. This could be them holding something with the day's date on it. I've never had a positive response to this.
Those who do not have photos may have good reason, as I do but I explain why and when I think it safe, will provide. Often they will provide a photo privately. If they do, right click and check if it is on then internet somewhere using the google check service.
They frequently are, often in some online free gallery.
Just beware when browsing, find the right folk and don't be fooled.
Nov 2023 - Update.
Well, I paid for a membership a couple of weeks ago to see if I could find some real folk to chat with here, maybe meet at some time. The experience has been depressing for the most part, except for one young lady. But all the present time wasting fakes presently frequenting IM in the UK drive me nuts.
One had copied three photos and the first paragraph of someone in USA for "it's" (not sure if it is M or F, although claiming F) profile. Not sure how this was engineered as they were only standard so shouldn't have been able to see another profile!
One chatted, got quite deep, sent 3 photos (Google check did not find them on the internet), even went to email. Then, all of a sudden, no response. No apparent reason. Caught up on IM only to be told she wasn't interested because she wanted a real meeting yet I had offered to go visit given an address. Even suggested apps like Kik and Line for calls and messaging off site. Nothing. A real time waster.
One, supposedly local, chatted again, had a good dialogue but the photo it sent was harvested from the Internet! Now no contact at all.
There are others, I think 5 or 6. All on and off IM regularly.
The last was yet another who sent a fake photo so I thought, "what if I report to admin". I did and they were removed. So from now on, any fakes I identify will be reported with evidence of their fakery to admin.
I may start a blog which names the fakes.
Interested to hear other's experiences.
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How did it all start - part 2 - the girls define the man
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Posted:Sep 11, 2022 3:08 am
Last Updated:Feb 28, 2024 3:02 am 2150 Views
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Early life experiences often define adult traits. That was certainly true for me and my sexuality. In my teens I found myself attracted by girls who took the trouble to present themselves well. Those who wore a lot of make up always seemed to shine, to stand out, have more confidence.
One of these revealed some dark fantasies to me and I had my first sexual BDSM experience. Now this girl was a hairdresser and always wore a ton of makeup, heavy bold colours. I don't think I ever saw her without red lipstick. She loved having her hands tied behind her back, blindfold and then fucked. I only really knew her for a short period but the times we spent with her tied like that, the passionate kissing, deep thrusting, her moans of delight told me that bondage could really stimulate a woman sexually. I also found that I loved kissing red lips, especially when they tasted nice. She wore a lipstick that is no longer made - Yardley, Holly Red, a classic bold, blue red and it had a gorgeous perfume.
From that point on, i tried bondage on all girlfriends. I'd say that about 60% were up for it and 80% loved that I liked makeup. From those times onwards, I found vanilla sex a little boring, lacking the edge. Of course, in time I met other devotees of BDSM who helped me develop my dark side. That's for part 3.
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How did it all start - part 3 - Service Days of Discovery
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Posted:Sep 13, 2022 2:38 am
Last Updated:Feb 28, 2024 3:03 am 2904 Views
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My time serving our late Queen and country were a real sexual revelation for me. I was in an environment where there was no shortage of single women. Simple fact is, they were all gagging for sex. I got to know a swimmer when we competed in a championships - she loved it when I tied her hands during sex so I took it further and added gag, blindfold and extra restraint. She was super hot in bed for certain.
Then I met nurses. To my astonishment and delight, every one that I 'dated' loved bondage, especially with medical stuff. I collected a lot of bandages of various types (crepe, compression, cohesive), cotton/gauze wound packing, very sticky zinc tape (today's stuff is wimpy compared), elastic adhesive tape and some gynae equipment (courtesy of one of my kinky nurses).
There was one nurse who loved full body mummification. She introduced me to the full head wrap. Having a predilection for breath control, she had me gag her by forcing as much wound packing into her mouth as I could cram in. Over that went the super sticky zinc tape, not just over her lips but covering her whole face. At her request, I applied long strips horizontally, vertically and diagonally until all but her nostrils were covered. Next came a full head wrap that avoided her nostrils using 3 x 7.5cm wide compression bandages that were extremely tight. On top of that went 10 (yes, ten), full length crepe bandages, 10cm wide. These completely encased her head, covering her nose too. The multiple layers over her nose really limited her ability to draw air into her lungs. A final layer of zinc tape (avoiding her nose) ensured these layers were there until I removed them.
I had her tied spread-eagle using rubber medical tubing but with her knees also pulled wide open. I spent about 20 minutes or so pinching and biting her nipples while rubbing her clit before giving her oral and finally fucking her, slowly at first, then harder. That was the first time I experienced a harder end of BDSM. She writhed in her restraints, made the most wonderful muffled noises and her body spasmed in a way that betrayed the super massive orgasms she experienced.
What surprised me most during this period, mid to late 1980s, was the high proportion of women who wanted to be tied up for/during sex. I only ever came across one who thought the whole thing ridiculous and thought me weird for even suggesting it..
The other thing I found out about nurses was that many of them loved makeup. There was one girl I saw at a party who was my dream girl. She was naturally super attractive but on this occasion had a super sexual look about her. Aside from the very tight/low cut dress and skyscraper heels, she wore about as much makeup as it was possible to apply. Her lips were a super creamy bold red, her eyes made up with black/grey/silver eye shadow, heavy black liner and kohl, bold, defined brows and lashes that were long and super thick with mascara. Yes, she loved being tied up but also loved smearing that red lipstick all over me. The bugger was that I was posted just a couple of weeks after meeting her so that was a very short lived fling.
These experiences really cemented in place all those foundation steps of childhood and adolescence. They also introduced me to the pain and distress side of BDSM and I was learning fast that I liked putting a willing lady through some painful ordeals.
In part 4 I'll cover how I got into inflicting pain and applying pain bondage
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How did it all start - Part 4 - Pain
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Posted:Feb 27, 2023 6:45 am
Last Updated:Feb 28, 2024 3:03 am 2134 Views
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It was not until I had left the Army that I met a woman who wanted to be cropped very hard while helpless. Despite my experience with bondage, this was a development. My mind wondered, 'how much pain?'. Important question because for me this whole thing is about mutual satisfaction and enjoyment. The notion that some women like to be hurt as part of sex somehow seems odd but, "hey ho, let's go", I thought.
At first I was a little tame with the crop. It was a case of finding how hard before it got too much. Now this lady, from London, met me at my Travelodge accommodation. Putting her into stringent bondage was so satisfying as it turned out she could really take it tight. It was also the most extreme gag I'd applied until then. Her mouth was so full, side to side and front to back. Her ability to control her gag reflex astonished me. The central part of the gag was a long 'sausage roll' shaped cloth wad. After stuffing her cheeks so they bulged to the max, I forced the cloth roll between the cheek wads and as deep as it would go, right to the back but leaving a space to breathe through her nose. For the first time I used tape over hair without any protective covering, wrapping round and round in multiple directions until her head was totally encased. She could barely mew.
I gradually hit her arse harder and harder. The welts got redder and started to raise on her butt. When I fingered her clit it was like the river Nile. She was so wet. Then I decided to crop her clit, moving to the inside of her thighs too. After marking her tits I had to have her so fucked her hard and boy, did she orgasm. Quite amazing.
I also learned about pin wheels and nipple torture with her. Interesting to note that the weighted clamps bought online were actually mini crocodile clips with rubber covers over the teeth. Experimenting, these covers came off and the bite was far worse. Worse again was turning them sideways and positioning them with the nipple close to the spring at the pivot. I could tell that really hurt and was as much as she could take because she motioned a 'do further' signal at which point I have her an oral orgasm as a, 'well done' reward.
Now she was an exception. Most women I'd known like a little pain but nothing like this. She was pure masochist. Aside from discovering how pain could be used, I know knew that each woman had to be judged carefully and explored to see what limits were. Great fun. Most rewarding.
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The Covid effect
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Posted:Jan 10, 2023 4:00 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 10:4 am 1356 Views
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Am I the only one to notice that during the worst period of covid, there was a marked reduction in meeting interactions? In the year leading up to Covid I guess I had maybe 8 to 10 meets with folk I met here. From 2020 to 2022, zero.
Now, recently that appears to be changing. More interest, more discussion, more messages, more prospects.
Here's to a great 2023.
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New Year - New Horizons
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Posted:Jan 7, 2023 3:27 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 10:4 am 1687 Views
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Well, have I noticed some software upgrades with Alt or is it m imagination? I like the new stuff I can see even if it has always been there and I've only just found it!
So, what are our New Year kink resolutions? I know what I want to do. First and foremost, meet some new ladies for play. Challenging of course because, understandably, this can be a scary environment, especially for newbies si gaining te kind of trust that results in total surrender is hard to say the lease.
Having said that, to all newbies reading this, bear in mind, a real dominant will show understanding, want to know limits, will usually want to gain trust and not just assume it is given. Most of all, an experienced Dom will know that when the partner says, 'stop', it means exactly that. This said, it can still be a worry for the newbie.
How do we know we are not dealing with a potential scammer or blackmailer? They are there too so beware. Use a pseudonym email address for secure off site email of you intend to communicate that way. Alternatively, use an anonymous messaging app like Line or KIK or Google Chat (with a fake name of course). If unsure, stick to this site: it is safe.
The biggest challenge for me is working out who is a genuine, 'player' and who just wants fantasy chat. I don't mind the latter but I prefer folk to be honest as it can be frustrating when nothing ever comes of impleid action. Try to qualify contacts with questions like, 'are you here to chat or to meet for real encounters?
One to watch out for is the person whose account is deactivate. The concurrently, a new account pops up, very similar, same area, age etc and when texting or using IM, the writing style is the same. They never give any other means of communicating, no email etc. I know someone who has had 4 such ID's over the last 4 years. Chat by all means but expect little from this type as they are probably not serious about meeting.
So, all in all, a full, exciting year ahead. have fun
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