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Rabbit Holes
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Postad:2 juli 2023 12:21 pm
Senast Uppdaterad:8 september 2023 8:24 pm 6648 besök
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Finding over the last few months, my thoughts have been all over the place. In many instances they have drawn me down paths I never would have ventured.
In a few instantaneous, I have ended my dates with a blow job.
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10
kommentarer
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Mixed feelings
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Postad:28 maj 2023 7:56 am
Senast Uppdaterad:8 september 2023 8:24 pm 7496 besök
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Sometimes I can be my own worst enemy or critic. Constantly debating, questioning and berating myself emotionally and mentally. In so many ways, it highlights why I need a decisive and dominant person in my life or at least a therapist.
Earlier this week I ran into an old bf, while out shopping. This man wasn’t really my bf in a sense, as when I was seeing him, he was married. And still is. At the time we were seeing each other for nearly a year. We haven’t seen each other since the Pandemic started. We had spoke on the phone a few times afterwards, but haven’t in the last two years. When we were seeing each other, it was very much a sexual relationship. He never thought of himself as a Dom, but I in my own weird sense of justifying the relationship looked on him as such. Over the last few years, I came to think of him as a manipulative narcissist. And I don’t regret the time I was involved with him or the numerous times I felt humiliated and degraded.
Running into him this week, all those mixed feeling came back. We ended up sitting down for coffee and caught up with each other. I found, he had changed and felt in many ways he hadn’t. As we were talking, feelings of our time together flooded my thoughts and I can’t say he helped to forget those feelings. Especially when he shared how the pandemic brought he and his wife closer together and accepting more of his kinkier needs. When his wife called, he told her we had bumped into each other and he was on his way home.
Saying good bye and walking out, left me with mixed feelings which still linger. Not of him so much as what I experienced with him.
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2
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When you think you know someone
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Postad:6 maj 2023 9:59 am
Senast Uppdaterad:25 maj 2023 3:30 am 7572 besök
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I know I can be naive and many things can shock and surprise me, despite my own beliefs, past relationships and time spent on here.
Yesterday a coworker was retiring and a few of us took her out after work to celebrate. As we were leaving the restaurant, I heard my name called. When I turned around I saw a friend of my mother’s. Though she wasn’t the one to call out. It was the man she was sitting with. I went over to say hi and the man introduced himself and asked me to join them.
For a woman I thought was confident and self assured, she was nervous and she wasn’t dressed for a casual meet up with a friend. I was a bit confused, because I thought she was happily married. I wasn’t so sure, as we initially caught up with each other. It gradually came out, they were having an affair or rather they are seeing each other and have been for almost 10 yrs. It was hard to believe when the man explained, it was not hidden from her husband and he fully supported and encouraged her. I sat there with so many questions in my thoughts and feeling so awkward. When the man got up to go to the washroom, I sat there and stared at mom’s friend. She nervously said her husband had introduced them and suggested she sleep with him. He gets off on being cuckolded and she has become the man’s slut. It was at that point the man returned, returned and added every once in awhile he allows her husband to watch. Her husband has no say in when or how often he wants her. He even went further and stated she has little say and has never disappointed him in being wet. With those words, I don’t know who was more embarrassed, my mom’s friend or me. To which he laughed.
We were sitting and talking for a almost 2 hours when he realized the time and suggested they had to go.
When I got home, I was feeling naive in my own thoughts. Thinking I knew someone, only to feel I don’t really. I went to bed with images and thoughts of the two of them. Even this morning, I woke up with the surreal feeling of last night.
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8
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, 1 Väntar
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Two questions I am asked often.
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Postad:18 april 2023 7:49 pm
Senast Uppdaterad:9 maj 2023 5:25 am 7808 besök
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Two questions I am asked quite often on here.
What are my fantasies? and What are my limits?
I really only have one fantasy, it is to find someone I could look up to and love totally and completely within a relationship.
As for my limits, it would depend on the one I would be with. I deeply feel if I belong and love this person, my limits would be theirs to determine.
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2
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What I have noticed
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Postad:21 januari 2023 7:07 am
Senast Uppdaterad:9 maj 2023 5:26 am 9571 besök
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I have had a profile here for a few years since my divorce. When I first logged into the site, I felt I found a community where I didn’t feel weird or crazy for my thoughts and feelings.
I have met a couple of others and corresponded with many others. I grew up understanding men and women approach, see life and relationships differently. Though I wonder if I am still the naive woman when I first logged in here. More often then not, when I respond to someone, the expectation is, I belong and am committed to them after a few words.
Most times, I find myself questioning my own deep feelings.
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7
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Happy New Years
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Postad:31 december 2022 10:05 am
Senast Uppdaterad:2 januari 2023 7:53 am 11595 besök
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Wishing everyone a Happy New Years !!!
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10
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Embarrassing moment
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Postad:27 december 2022 5:53 am
Senast Uppdaterad:11 maj 2023 4:08 am 11566 besök
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Last week while out Christmas shopping with a friend, we sat down in the food court. A partial conversation we overheard from two teenagers sitting a couple tables over, surprised and embarrassed me. My friend was disgusted and had us move.
Their conversation was out of context for the mall and in the less than two minutes we overheard, I assume the one boy was bragging to his friend about a girl he was with. What we overheard, “I fucked her mouth, her hole felt so fucking wild when she was gagging. I didn’t care if she liked it or not….”
What embarrassed me, I have experienced what she may have felt.
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8
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Wonder about some
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Postad:15 december 2022 1:47 pm
Senast Uppdaterad:13 mars 2023 3:11 am 11701 besök
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I have been on here off and on over the past few years. I know I am shy and introverted. Except for one man, the few dates I have been on with men I met here, they were more nervous than I was.
When I was on vacation in Europe earlier, I found everyone was more open and relaxed. I wonder, is there a difference.
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2
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Words or phrases…
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Postad:14 december 2022 9:33 pm
Senast Uppdaterad:22 december 2022 5:00 am 11947 besök
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How is it that some words or phrases, can sometimes evoke thoughts and feelings of the woman you try to suppress inside.
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4
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