Coming of age, the brutality of it ....
|
張貼於:2024年 4月 5日 7:15 pm
最近編輯過:2024年 4月 6日 10:52 am 5262 瀏覽
|
I'd decided to combine my missions, one was to reconnect with the place I grew up in and the other was to visit a prospector friend who'd got the "hots" for finding gold again.
I decided to make my break along the journey in the forest out of sight from the main road and tried to have a go at camping again by cooking some sausages.
I decided to fold the Toyora seat back into its slot and just sleep there without bothering with setting up any gear, (which I didn't even have!)
The heavy fur seat cover was accommodating and warm, although the leg room was a little tight.
But one thing I knew about sleep was it only came when you were lucky, not about how good your bed was.
I woke up and the sun was well up and I'd slept pretty darn good.
I had a lot to read and stuff to figure out so I was busy that night and capped it off with a good early morning sleep.
Primed for the day ahead.
The toyota sprung to life with barely a prod and I was so confident in it that I didn't carry any tools apart from those needed to change a wheel.
So much different from my early days camping, on my first trip away with a school friend I'd bough a hundred bucks worth of gear that proved to be too much to setup at the end of the day.
Now I had the 12 volt fridge freezer mounted permanently in the back and that's where the improvement was.
So now it was traveling with no gear but lots of cold drinks !!!!
So anyway I'd hit the road and not much happened on the way, a biker had a shapely girl on the back and her beautiful amber hair, soft and young played out from under her helmet.
That image was set to the large sculptured trees that had seen the times change.
The highway got busier but was coping alright, and then to the edge of the city I stopped at the bay for 'fish n chips' an American accent greeted me there and I made my order.
It was all calm and peaceful down on the beach and I took a look at the porno I picked up, full of stories to wet my appetite.
It seemed there wasn't anyway to disguise how pathetic it was to be young and 'full of beans' !
The words were just doing me more damage, like everything, my dreams were a mass of bad news.
So I knew I'd got it wrong somewhere.
TV too, it had a way of kicking you in the guts !
Life had played out like a board game, Snakes and ladders perhaps and it trapped you with no way out!!!
Only death!!!
The only problem I had with death was it wasn't the end, just a break till you returned into another mixed up life.
It was a sick game we were playing !
We were the actors and it seemed above us to go looking for the meaning of it all.
As much as I told myself I was finished with it my thoughts returned to that biker and his girlfriend, dismounting at their destination and no sooner after cleaning up they'd be bonking in earnest.
I liked her black pants that clung to her wonderfully shaped legs and butt.
I even thought about that during the night and had a rock hard boner in the morning.
I'd left the window and curtain open on the road side and found myself stranded as school kids were walking past and could easily see in.
Some did peer towards the window.
I decided it was too hard to live a perfect life. Too much to take your attention away from what should be easy.
The only way forward was fucking that beautiful girl on the motorcycle and being dumbly confronted with the fallout, "Oh shit she's pregnant"?
Now what ?
I returned to the porno mag I'd bought and read a story about how helpless the guy was to large and nice set of titties.
The woven threads that encased them screamed at you to touch that !!!
Yes it screamed at you !!!!
You wanted it so bad, to curl up to those warm titties !!!!
It was disgraceful how pathetic you'd become !!
There was no point going far afield looking for meanings that may not even be there when your job was really so simple.
I bet he would open that thing up too !!! On the open road and that's where the daylight thrills would come from.
A fiendish vibration that hit her right on the spot !!
That cunt of hers needed attention and it was your job to give it !!!!!
Maybe i'll read another just to give that mag a chance before I toss it as worthless crap ! Maybe even take in a few of the pics first too !!!!
|
|
|
5
留言
|
|
The language of images !
|
張貼於:2024年 3月 30日 12:52 pm
最近編輯過:2024年 4月 26日 5:16 pm 6783 瀏覽
|
I was reduced to them at times when my mind failed with words.
I then found a lie got the most laughs.
She had her own self freewill, and who was there to stop her?
I'd get myself comfortably ensconced in the life I created.
It was beautifully scripted with the cruel moments left bare and unanswered.
I thought If I was God would I make it easy for the human that I also was?
No! there'd be challenges thrown my way.
I would not be allowed to make it all up.
The overall plot that few could even master.
The mass manipulator was how the wicked viewed God.
We'd find how God had his fingers caught in the puzzle and smash them.
The way he did.
The fems had no qualms about leaving you a 'nuttless' fag.
The first try to turn me into a nutless fag is burnt front and center into my brain.
I remember I had normal thoughts about what a life should be.
A girl left messages on my desk at school and later cornered me.
I apologized , desperately grasping at excuses.
Word got around quickly with them.
I guess that's when I would be dealt a humble blow, to suffer at the 'executioners' hands.
She knew her trade well and first it was a sneaky rumor .
She was going to turn me into a 'nuttless fag' !
I was partly terrified and also sexually stimulated.
It fitted my bi-polar to a tee too.
The bi-polar allowed the other world to exist.
In that one I was destitute of caring thoughts, just a outcast confined to the streets.
It was that one that would meet her challenge.
Even savor it !
The order had come from the top and a bounty given to any bitch who could take my nuts !
Why did I till want to play fair though?
I was getting high on it, tying my nuts so they stuck out, an easy target for her.
There would be no 'getting lucky' chance for my balls, they'd take her strike head on, and when it happened that's what happened.
Her beautiful thigh flicking away her light Summer dress and then in an instant I saw the threat behind her dress, the thigh shaved so smooth that had a good powerful 'no nonsense' thickness to it.
I guess it was her inexperience that stopped her using her knee.
A thrusted knee cap if it found its mark would have done it.
They took a fucking good squeeze anyway , the second strike was better and no way out for my nuts.
It was in a public place too, in the middle of a crowd keen on getting to class on time.
It set the standard too,
A treat I enjoyed many times afterwards. 
|
|
|
7
留言
|
|
I am the epitomy of self destruction.....
|
張貼於:2024年 3月 29日 3:42 pm
最近編輯過:2024年 3月 30日 12:07 pm 6783 瀏覽
|
But failure gives us a chance to knock it all down and build anew.
Corrections can be made and with that experience a new horizon is opened.
And in this new horizon we see what had made us blind !
We see that life must function in this way to enable our genes to flourish.
Whether good or bad we must strike a balance between what we expect from life and what we achieve within those parameters.
For is it not that life is worth the effort?
That the very sunlight that nourishes the living was put there so the great masses of what can be said and done will paint a portrait of what is possible... We must find ways to recite what bothers or even intrigues us.
Our intonations, mellow or otherwise must contain what is the most perplexing, in any order , the ................. (Now it's your turn to complete it) Class dismissed ! Have it on my desk first thing tomorrow ! And no cheating, you must use your own thoughts and words. You may look up words, you may discover new words that fill a gap in your ?................
|
|
|
5
留言
|
|
"Oh dears" From Bitches!
|
張貼於:2024年 3月 28日 10:59 am
最近編輯過:2024年 3月 30日 10:18 pm 7056 瀏覽
|
She casually played at what amused her. How pathetic males became when their pathetic useless balls were threatened !
Balls were a favorite theme of mine.
Balls, and the bitches who knew what to do with the pathetic males 'toys'.
After the usual spat by the male at having his precious globules played with she ended her play by stabbing each useless item onto her heel and whilst like that you'd watch her lick her lesbian lover.
Her leg kicked high behind her with your balls skewered and stuck on her long heel.
I loved that one, exploring all the camera angles.
It amazed me how fantasies could touch that spot so perfectly.
I made a sculpture of that one, molding the balls and mixing the coloring till I got the tinge of red right.
I stuck it in the living room and prospective customers would peruse its angles appreciative of my imagination and artistry.
The slim white boy was no match for her strength.
He tried desperately to get away from her, her threatening tool stiff enough to do its job !
He tried to angle away from her , to escape the menace that loomed over him, he'd once read a passage in a book where the pursued was promised to feel the cool steel in his vitals.
Those words came back to him as he fought her.
Her tool was the threat !
He had to protect his 'vitals' from her.
It brushed across the opening as he fought her !
She'd begin blindly stabbing at him seeking the yielding point to gain an entry.
He'd be a goner if she found his pink hole.
His little sweet vulnerable pink hole.
Her fervor mounted driven by her frustration at the boy fighting her off each time she came close.
She let him go while she lubed up her huge tool.
He watched her twisted face as he prepared for the new affront, the merciless plunge from her keen in his imagination.
If she got it started she'd toy with him before making the final plunge, up his 'vitals' he thought.
Her cruel face alive when there was no other way left out for him.
He'd got tired now, she sensed that and took control of him.
He didn't have the fight left in him to deny her any longer so he made sure her passage into him would be straight so at least there'd be the least that could go wrong.
He'd just brace himself and accept her deep thrust, taking it straight !
Her long w@apon finding its mark, dispatching him with a cr*el thrust into his vitals !
|
|
|
9
留言
|
|
The playful and the curvatious ! Alan Watts.
|
張貼於:2024年 3月 27日 3:17 pm
最近編輯過:2024年 4月 25日 4:27 pm 7290 瀏覽
|
Don't forget the playful diligence of those with a natural tongue, who play with the words, imparting a gift to them.
Life plays the game same a everything that surrounds us.
We see that what is spriteful enjoys the promise of life.
Entropy is all we have to point at to say that time goes this way.
But who's to say that you can't just step out of it and like crosing the grooves in an LP record you couldn't just 'slip' to another point.
Is life worth remembering?
And if it was then where is the tool that does that?
(I'm just designing a narrative for the speaker here, more or less to foster more intonations from him about this wonderful place, that just seems to have fallen in our laps)
The suppleness of new life is something that responds to joy ! I hope you do enjoy !
|
|
|
7
留言
|
|
Still things I couldn't touch.
|
張貼於:2024年 3月 26日 5:21 pm
最近編輯過:2024年 3月 28日 9:48 am 7428 瀏覽
|
I really don't know what I expected.
In fact some of it got worse ,bringing what had happened closer to home.
I really shouldn't have gone.
I was questioned about the names of my teachers and my throat just tightened and wouldn't let out a word.
It was hard to deal with the cruelty of it, and when I'd arrived back to the exact same place I'd taken the cane I felt the same aweful sensations returning.
Odd how I made a point of putting my own subs through that to see how they'd deal with it.
I thought I had it made.
Just goof around and enjoy life. I could almost guess which girl was going to get it that day.
The English one was our favorite for her pantomine performances, and when told to go to the room to wait there for the teacher we could feel the anticipation she felt.
It amazed me how deep seated the desire in me was even though I was yet to reach the age when the 'curtains were spread open'.
The English girl was bubbling with emotions.
Her tiny English ass took control of your darkest imaginations.
I remember boys would point at her in the gym class to whisper scoffing at her stupid little ass.
Yes life was good, it was fun but would soon be burst apart when we got a change of teacher.
This new one a real bitch and the discipline of the class switched away from the girls.
I got the shock of my life when I was instructed to go to that little room to wait and I really thought a mistake had been made.
Then when the class was settled into their assigned task she had time to slip away.
She requested that I prostrate myself over the table to put my hands out way out in front of me onto the table.
I looked at her seeking any chink in her expression but found none.
Maybe even more hardened as she galvanized herself to complete her task.
I imagined she was in cohorts with my drunk father who enjoyed giving his b*y a 'licking' with his belt.
She took swipes through the air with that long gangly cane as if trying to gauge its mood.
Then she took her purposeful stance at the optimal short distance behind my butt.
Now years later the with my emotions once again raw and fired up it seemed that a trick of time had happened and it was as real as ever.
The first one was as I plainly remember, cutting through the air to arrive curtly at the seat of my pants.
It had a sharpness to it unlike my fathers belt.
I couldn't see any way out so I knew I just had to roll with it and see it through.
Then my mind took an unexpected turn and it was like being lost in a fog.
The tension just seemed to fade as the strokes kept coming.
It was kind of an out of body experience and I could hear my tear filled painful cries form a distance.
I would do the same to the 'smarty pants' and that became the name for me by the girls who berated me.
She devilishly laid down those strokes to leave an angry thin line across the buttocks and I shuffled home with that pain in my ass wondering what my butt would look like when I eventually got home to view it in the mirror.
Which I did , admiring the firey red hash that confronted my startled eyes.
I was then a changed person and it became my goal front and center to take that 'high' with me to pursue to its fullest.
Fate had another surprise just waiting over the horizon for me.
I remember the nervous energy I felt, it was the fix I'd become in need of.
I'd got lost in thought, drifting away for what was maybe a few seconds before I heard the new principle inviting us in for tea or coffee.
She seemed like an amazing woman and laughed heartily at the jokes I made with the others.
Now that I think about it I was her focus and I'm sure she was drinking in all the wild emotions that came back to me.
It was foolish to think I'd ever tame that space.
The hard walls had captured it in a timeless way to reciprocate it back to me whenever I was around.
I was soon to discover the polarizing effects of mental illness.
I guess I was looking to find the start of all the madness to try to correct it from there.
They were adorably well behaved k!d and one offered me a biscuit. [br[So much I knew that they had not the slightest tinkling of.
Then I walked down to the road by the beach and bought fish and chips.
I looked out over the calm bay on the sparkling blue skied day.
I sat on the smooth concrete border and it returned the warmth of the sun.
I drove out of the city feeling incredibly sexy.
Later on I came with a force that I hadn't seen in years. Took me back to the high school days where I'd be almost passing out, struggling to remain on my feet a I was rocked by multiple cums.
I'd learned to love drama too, obsessed by it and I arrived at the proffered address , sharply at the agreed time.
Two o'clock in the morning.
I loved the nighttime, so peaceful back then.
We took things slow and I teased him.
I was in total control.
He had to play my game right before he'd get what he wanted.
To nail a "T".
I wanted to see his face so I set up the camera looking back from from my head.
Be as mean as you like I told him, believe me I will enjoy it just as much as you when I rewind it and play it back.
I loved the new form my butt was taking from the supplements I was taking.
Some thought the cum was doing that.
What a joke I thought.
But it did play on my mind so I tried to keep his cum inside me for as long as I could.
It did work too.
There was an underworld of a certain type too and I was taken under the wing of a smart trans lady who saw that I could help her with her company.
Real estate to climb the property ladder and pay the bills and her artistic indulgence to create something stimulating.
That's how I got into acting and making my own movies.
Dark and thoughtful the way I liked them.
I wa revengeful in them, taking out the wrongful ones in unexpected bizarre twists.
Sweet Stacey was a large colored girl who had no need to hide who she was.
She was fulfilling a need, a perfect match made in heaven.
The whites felt a guilt about how they'd transgressed this race and aw it was due for the roles to change.
They became the miserable male servants that needed to make a profit to earn their keep.
It was balls and chain stuff.
The stuff you'd wish they'd put on TV.
On fantasy Island.
You'd find yourself on the sugar plantation.
Today you'd be stacking coconuts onto the tray back, the colored Mistress would amble by looking them over deciding which one suited her.
Maybe looked like they could do with a little humbling.
Her teeth flashed whitely when the ropes bit a little too tightly.
She liked her man lashed properly so she did it herself.
She enjoyed the balls the most, and she'd pinch them trapping them in the sack as she bound the hook on.
It was a convenient way to stretch your nuts.
Your balls looked perfectly accommodated in her dark skinned hands.
You noticed the ornaments on the wall, a throw back to cruel times when the black workers needed to be taught to 'tow the line'.
Now it was you who must 'tow the line', your worthless little balls were valueless, not worth a spit !
Odd how you could feel a chill in this tropical warmness.
She rolled up her sleeves to get down to the task.
The frame held you sturdily on the flat of your back.
then you noticed the thin rope set up on a pulley.
It suddenly made sense what she was going to do.
She deftly hooked the loop onto the hook bound onto your nuts.
Then these were pulled up to a convenient height to 'get' at them.
You'd heard stories that made you wonder.
About the long strings that attached to them.
You'd read about the things that were done in books.
Like Robinson Crusoe only jacked up on crack.
There were no laws here. Profit the only goal here !
Then picnic stuff was being put out, folding chairs and cane topped benches to hold the tea and food for the plump negro ladies to enjoy whilst watching your nuts being played with.
The odd thing would give them a laugh too.
The lemon cake they aye looked adorably soft.
The white icing reminded you of you !
The stretch on your balls was becoming noticeable too.
But what was the plan?
Did they plan to play tennis with them?
Yeah that'd work, or Badminton?
Easy for those making the movie too as some fake balls would play that role.
Hefty swings to propel your balls in a game !!!!!
Then an old wooden shafted golf club was produced.
You're thinking some pacific explorer left it here long ago.
Maybe he left hiss skull here !
So then a lovely lady would be standing on your table toying with your nut with the iron headed shaft.
"How do you do this?' she inquired of the others as she practiced her back swing.
Some could hit a golf ball off the top of a beer can so it can't be that hard to make a clean swipe of them.
She tapped your nuts with the iron head as she prepared to make her swing, eyeing off the fair way too !!!!
It was in fact easier than golf as there were two balls to try and hit !!!
She paid no attention to your 'grub', so long as it didn't get in her way. 
|
|
|
5
留言
|
|
Explaining the 'thrust' behind quantum entanglement.
|
張貼於:2024年 3月 25日 10:31 am
最近編輯過:2024年 3月 26日 8:42 am 7743 瀏覽
|
So I went on my little adventure and met some real keen young minds who were lapping up advice and I had to stop myself from going too far.
It was not fair to make jokes that flew over their heads.
The obvious one was that the young maturity would succumb and after a lifetime would re-emerge.
I'd woken up in the motel room with a demanding hardon and the window was open and the curtain pulled across.
I loved spending the night that way but the morning light had caught me out and school k$ds were walking along only meters away as I stimulated the objects 'thirst'.
It was funny how the day unfolded and how beautiful and innocent they were.
I wanted to say something like 'why not just throw the quadratic formula on the board down there with its proof and just see if it made any of them 'twitch'.
It would be the start of a journey.
They needed protection from what was to come and a young lad who had recently been to school there found his picture on the wall and I jokingly said to him "what advice can you give yourself?".
An older gen male me gave a laugh and it was that you could not ignore the obvious way the young man thought.
He quietly grappled with the stunning and rapid new dimension that would overwhelm his senses.
Then I wanted to scream, NO NO NO don't be fooled and fall into that trap!!!
It was then that the older man and I took to reasonable conversation about what intrigued us.
I mentioned a puzzle I'd found to work out, about the building that disappeared on the street I lived.
A little digging found that the whole topsoil had to be replaced because of the amount of needles buried in it.
Then after that I felt I needed to wander past all the old things I still remembered in the street.
There was such a gaping flaw in how life worked.
Visions of Billy Madison shaking the kids head saying 'never leave here' came to mind.
Life wasn't fair.
The demand it put on you and the consequences that put you under strain.
How could you be put to explain yourself when it was so rigged to make you fail?
I was devastated , at the pall of it all.
The headmaster seemed a reasonable woman and we spoke quietly about the matters confronting the world.
She was attentive to my response and I guess she was drawn to me.
No one else got her attention.
Had life been everything she'd expected from it?
I wanted to tell the students that I still had the same questions from that time I was in, their timeframe.
Still unanswered, to really just explain the instinctive side of her mind.
I'd never found a woman I wanted to breed with.
It was the cold way I was brought up too.
Perfect if you wanted to bury yourself in physics.
I stopped off at the old newsagent and found a book that suited me.
It was by Matt Parker, about four dimensions.
I needed four dimensions right then to lose my brain in.
It had been a mistake to ever go there.
Maybe I jut wanted to take the Toyota out onto the open road to see 'how she goes'.
It was exceptional too, eating up the miles in fifth gear like it was nothing.
It was a long trip too and I liked it that way.
I planned on making some headway into my thoughts by the time I got home.
A sense of despondancy was all I got.
Then realizing the toll I'd have to pay.
|
|
|
5
留言
|
|
The fog !
|
張貼於:2024年 3月 18日 2:53 pm
最近編輯過:2024年 3月 22日 2:19 am 9166 瀏覽
|
It was a moment of madness and the urgent message was to find somewhere high, and quickly.
So I flew up the mountain path and some others had done the same but we couldn't see anything much. The fog covered the land but we could see over it like we were traveling in a jet.
Someone pointed out a change happening far in the distance and the sky looked dirty.
It was an impact one guy said and another was busy tuning his radio.
A mass of distressed voices raised the alarm and we caught that a wave was coming.
How far inland would it come and were we high enough.
Someone thought they could hear something so we quietened straining our ears for the sound of the approaching wave.
It seemed so surreal, to go from a normal morning to be confronted by the unfolding disaster.
We would undoubtedly hear the water coming, smashing trees and whatever but because of the fog we couldn't see anything.
How high would the water come up the mountain?
Now the distant dirty brown sky was spreading and many would be thrust into the growing darkness.
Maybe a hail of rocks too.
Then we could hear something approaching in the distance.
Unlike anything I'd ever heard before.
A rumbling sound as the water forced its way inland.
Coming in between the mountain ranges.
Everyone looked shocked.
No one knew what to do !
The blasted fog hid everything !
It was only the sound that we had to figure it out.
Then cows could be heard in the distance, way below our height.
I remembered being trapped by a bushfire once, the darkness and stillness before the firestorm.
Then the wind swept in the flying embers that stung when they touched your skin.
Millions of them, and the smoke!
It seared your lungs.
Now the dirty patch of sky was heading towards us and we'd have to retreat to the vehicles when it came.
Then no end in sight, maybe in a day or two we could try to get down again but the roads would all be blocked by the fallen timber.
We'd be forced to go on foot.
I had a bunker but with no way to find it in the changed landscape.
What I needed was a GPS location.
Then it would take a lot of digging to uncover it.
I had to find the radio to find out what had happened.
Was it oomarooa? That strange rock said to have arrived from an Ancient no longer existing solar system.
That's where it got its speed.
|
|
|
5
留言
|
|
A good story.
|
張貼於:2024年 3月 17日 4:38 pm
最近編輯過:2024年 3月 22日 3:16 pm 9373 瀏覽
|
If you read enough 'rags to riches' stories and liked math then maybe you'd notice something.
She learned to socialize and find fun activities that didn't cost much.
Like listening to music or reading a book.
A different path into understanding economics was found.
Silver coins with a cool history then tiny gold ones that were so much nicer to look at.
Then numbers, exponential growth.
I can't believe Bcoins were a dollar each. What gave them the edge over countless others?
Oh and the internet, I love it !!!
And in a swamp of AI and a whole lot of things you may stumble upon something tantalizing and enjoyable. enjoy !!!!!
|
|
|
5
留言
|
|
The 'good sense' algorithm.
|
張貼於:2024年 3月 14日 9:50 pm
最近編輯過:2024年 3月 15日 1:32 pm 10317 瀏覽
|
Successfully weaving a path through troubled waters could be a game of luck or skill or following your hunches.
Or insider trading?
No let's keep it honest for now.
If only I'd bought Bcoin at that early time.
You know Old heads gave all the alt coins zero value whereas its the fiat that is lacking badly.
Bcoin has a delightful inbuilt protection about it.
Only so many so no ones busy at the press printing more.
But also vulnerable in an apocalyptic way.
You may have an iron backed 12 digit code but everything could go to hell snd you have no way to use it !!
And when that happens its what you buried under your ground that makes the most sense.
Did you know 9000 underground fuel tanks spring a leak every year?
Was that just in the US?
Seriously don't go doing that !
As an environmentalist, and maybe the 'good sense' algorithm can suggest something better.
Basically you get a network of these 'sensitive' types and get their reaction to certain things.
At a future process maths could come into it.
We'd ask them things like what do you feel about water?
Like many think continents could reshape after some continental plates shifting.
Cayce described what he thought would happen.
Also we have other threats like Yellowstone which is raising the Earth but some say there's not enough in the magma chamber for us to worry about an eruption any time soon.
We have cosmic impacts to consider, and big waves.
Or it may be something good that pops out from the blue.
Jesus may arrive as planned or aliens may turn out to be friendly helping souls.
To me I see that the aliens may be our helpers. They seem to have an automated system built into their craft that makes them smash into meteorites.
There's even pics of it happening. Protecting us from nukes too perhaps.
That where God fails the aliens succeed !
Best putting your money on that.
People could well beat the curse of dictatorship.
But will the imposing males ever give up? We're seeing a world run by males doing stupid stuff.
Females have by far the numbers in Russia to end the war but it's not numbers that are in control.
Where exactly does good advice come from?
|
|
|
5
留言
|
|
