my shell
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Posted:Aug 3, 2023 3:42 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 12:57 pm 2451 Views
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During these past few weeks back in civilization I have worked very hard to be a more social being. Even if it only meant stopping to give someone a light for their cigarette (and then deciding to just give the guy the lighter) I’ve been trying to break the old habit of staying quiet, moving along quickly, ignoring people as much as possible and so on. When people have tried to converse with me I’ve done my best to engage honestly, and not hurry to get it over with, or just tolerate it while it’s happening. This makes me sound bad, doesn’t it? Well, before I left for my 3 / three months in off grid hell it was far worse than that. At that time I could barely interact with my good friend ChrisSwallows, let alone total strangers. Those months of isolation changed something in me - or I decided to change something within myself. Either way, it’s kind of working.
The other day ChrisSwallows asked if I wanted to join him for an afternoon meal and my initial reaction was gratitude, but refusal. The thought of sitting in a restaurant I knew was going to force us to listen to music did not appeal, but after a few moments I relented. My desire to come out of my shell was a bit stronger than anticipated. We went and had a decent enough meal together, and at no point did the experience become unbearable for me or anything, but it hasn’t happened again since. Things like conversing with a bus driver are not foreign to me, but the vast majority of the time I pay my fare and sit down, so when one of them engaged me recently I had to fight the urge to end the conversation. For all I know the woman was hitting on me, because we were talking about bike riding and she was very friendly, but all I felt was like I could be making her job difficult by being a distraction. After I got off I thought of all sorts of things I could have said, but it was too late by then of course. Perhaps I’ll see her again, and gauge the moment then. Mainly I’m just happy to be making a small bit of progress in this area because I’ll never make friends or find a romantic relationship if I am not a bit more outgoing.
During a short walk in what is considered downtown Milwaukie, Oregon a woman passing by me on the sidewalk, going in the opposite direction, blurted out that I was a handsome man. It honestly shocked me, and of course I was flattered, but it took me a few extra seconds to react. Thinking about my newfound desire to connect with people I whirled around and called out to her, but my attempt to share a few more words with her failed. She was not in a good place, was how she put it, and I totally respected that. The compliment still made me feel good but it was the fact that I stopped myself and actually tried to connect further with her that I was most excited about. Once again, I have to state how contrary that sort of reaction is to the person I have been for many years now. It’s not a leap or bound but it’s still a step in the right direction and that’s good enough for me. Poking my head out of my shell hasn’t resulted in anything terrible yet!
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you just HAD to push it, didn't you?
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Posted:Aug 2, 2023 5:44 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 12:57 pm 2102 Views
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Look, I know that people taking a peek at my profile on rentmasseur are getting the idea that I provide something more erotic and sensual than just a naked massage, but nothing remotely specific is implied. I simply state that I want to help my lower their inhibitions and explore together. Nowhere do I say; “I’ll suck your dick” or hint for even a moment that they can suck mine. And when it comes to ass play, I’m finding a great deal of the men I meet want it incorporated into the session, but on varying levels. Nothing in my profile says I am interested, or into that, because I keep it super vague. As a result I can be confident I am following the rules, but also know that I am not suggesting anything illegal. As we all know, exchanging sex for money is against the law in just about every form, so if you want a blowjob from your masseuse you better wait until you are naked, and he’s been massaging you for a while before you bring that sort of thing up. My deal is to let those kind of things (my dick in his mouth, his in mine, any form of ass play) happen naturally / organically, and not just because to specifically discuss it beforehand is akin to a and John making a deal. If things unfold and we “naturally” end up naked, with my cock in his ass it’ll be fine as long as we didn’t, at any point, agree that he was paying me for that to happen. I was just there to give him a massage, officer, and we got carried away.
I’m telling you this because an idiot recently began a text message exchange with me that ultimately went too far, and the worst part about it is that the guy knew it and did it anyways. Nothing severe, just stupid really, and a waste of my time. In a nutshell; he asked if I would pose and flex my muscles while he touched me. I indicated this was fine, and when he next asked if I had any boundaries regarding that I told him that I was pretty open and easygoing, but reserved the right to vocalize them at any time. He seemed to understand this, and I thought things were going well until he asked a question he prefaced with, “If this is out of bounds…” which meant he pretty much knew what he was going to ask was something he shouldn’t. He wanted to know if he could suck my cock while he felt my muscles, and had he not blurted it out like that, and instead waited until we were together and asked in person it would have been fine. As it was, he was asking if a sex act could be performed while I was being paid, so I had to end the conversation right then and there. Most of me believes he was just a clumsy douche, or perhaps jerking off to my messages, but the paranoid guy in me worried he might be the police trying to catch me doing something wrong. No matter the circumstance, I don’t allow conversations that could incriminate me to play out.
For the most part, I’ve felt the majority of the conversations have been genuine, not people intending to waste my time. It has been an exceptional experience because in any other remotely similar situation (gay men looking for another man for _______) has been laden with fakes, flakes, time-wasters, etc. That paranoid voice in the back of my head is quieter than it has been in a while, because I’m not constantly dealing with people who are not sincere. The few dopes that do something clumsy or dumb haven’t ruined the “job” yet, I’m happy to say. Let’s keep it that way, please!
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the last jerk in the desert
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Posted:Aug 1, 2023 4:41 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 12:57 pm 2756 Views
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While I was off grid in the desert of Southern Oregon for 3 / three months I did quite a bit of filming. Being isolated, with neighbors that were at least a quarter of a mile away, meant I could essentially walk around naked all the time. When the weather was good, I did just that, and as a result I found myself aroused more often than I had anticipated. With no other possibility of release except my own hands, I decided to not waste the energy and continue pointing the camera in my direction. The result was some footage that was typical, but the obvious and genuine arousal I was experiencing is on display in a big way.
One of my favorite things to film was simply walking around naked. I’d put the camera on a tripod and then hold it out in front of me while I walked, much like a selfie stick. With the sun beating down on my skin and the air flowing freely about my naked body, my cock would instantly plump up and start swinging as I strode around my property. Visually speaking, I found it quite satisfying, and I think the people who might eventually purchase the videos will be happy with it as well. In all I think I have nearly 30 / thirty movies.
Sometimes the weather would not cooperate, and I’d be forced to film inside. At times it was far too hot, or cold, to go outside and get naked but the desire to pleasure myself could not be denied. So I’d just kick back in the tent, spread my legs and stroke for the camera until I was on the edge of exploding. I think only once did I actually ejaculate while filming inside; I was saving my loads for later, when I could go back out and masturbate amongst the rocks and bushes. It was a barren place, but the freedom to pretty much do whatever I wanted was tough to deny. My sperm were left drying all over the place.
These photos are just from the last day I filmed. At that time, it was far too hot to go outside. Had I done so, my skin would have been burned a dozen times over. Add the irritation of swatting away bugs and you get a less than sexy situation not worth filming. In the tent I could control things a bit, like keeping the flies out, but there was no air conditioning of any kind to ease the temperature. At least the sun wasn’t beating down on me while I was in there, naked, stroking my gorgeous cock for the camera.
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Shiatsu? I hardly know you...
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Posted:Jul 29, 2023 2:33 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 12:57 pm 2253 Views
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I’ve been doing double duty when it comes to blogging these last few days. Not only am I trying to get back to putting something up on a regular basis in all my old haunts, I’m also making sure to do so daily at rentmasseur. At first I thought this might be a pointless endeavor, but I recently had a potential admit that he’d started his search for someone that day by checking out blogs. Since I have sexy, silly and smart content I think it’s time well spent.
The following is something I put up on rentmassuer:
To me being uninhibited means being willing to try new things. When they say you can’t teach an old pup new tricks they are definitely just referring to Rover, because I find myself learning and growing every day. One of my recent customers asked for some Shiatsu action, and I had to admit that I was completely ignorant of the style, let alone how to do it properly. It says right there in my “about me” section that I am not certified or trained, and that is no exaggeration. Sure, I can rub your back and legs with my hands, and it might even have a tiny therapeutic benefit, but those hands are more interested in helping you achieve a different kind and level of relaxation and release. I don’t know the names of styles, or techniques, I just know what feels good.
Had I just claimed ignorance and not had an adventurous spirit, I would not have had the pleasure of wielding a huge Shiatsu vibrator, and watching the effect it had on my . His enjoyment was shared, and he doesn’t even know this but I found my face hurting because I was smiling so much. It was fun! It’s not that I don’t take the massage aspect of this job seriously, it’s just that I provide a different type for different purposes. Yes, you’ll be relaxed and some tension will be eased from your muscles, but my goal is to achieve a great deal more. Being open to new experiences, and to learning new things, will only make me better at my job - and that’s good news for you!
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rubbing them the right way
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Posted:Jul 21, 2023 5:24 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 12:57 pm 1977 Views
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There are a few reasons I’ve returned to offering erotic / to men on rentmasseur, not the least of which is the fact that I actually enjoy it. Making money doing something you like is not always an easy thing to accomplish, and I happen to dig making people feel good, be it about themselves, their sexuality, whatever. If I can provide some literal, physical relief and release as well, I am not above that at all. Yes, it makes me kind of a , but I’m okay with that. We are all some version; selling ourselves for a pittance, week after week, while making someone else extremely rich in the process. I’m just choosing to be more honest about it, and more selfish. If I have any say in the matter, the riches I earn will go directly into my pocket, tax free.
This time around I’ve added a twist to what I am offering; when I visit my I am riding my bicycle. This is out of necessity of course, because I do not have a vehicle, but I am touting myself as the most eco-friendly, GREEN masseuse in the area. And if my customers like a guy that is sweaty and musky smelling that’s a bonus for them. If not, I hop in the shower real quick and then we get to it. Ultimately, I don’t sweat a whole lot, so I’ll likely disappoint anyone who is looking for me to be “ripe”. Not going to regret that one bit, as I hate being stinky.
As anticipated, I had a great deal of interest in the first 24 / twenty four hours after I posted, and managed to book 3 / three people the very next day. The first was actually a repeat customer from my initial foray into this a few months ago, right before I left to go off grid. It was easy to please him because he was familiar, and I think we finished in record time. My next appointment was less than 2 / two hours later, and it was at home, so I had to hop on my bike and make my way back in the afternoon heat. Once I arrived, I broke my fast, ate until I was satisfied, then prepped to host the . There was no plan to incorporate my friend ChrisSwallows, but once the man arrived, and I got a look at his cock I knew he would be interested. After a perfunctory massage, things started to get more passionate, so I felt it the right time to inform him that ChrisSwallows was in fact outside the house, running around naked and doing yard work. After touting his skills as a cock sucker I asked if the guy wanted me to invite him in, and he gave an enthusiastic reply. Hopping off the massage table, I headed out the sliding glass door to find my friend and ask him to suck a strange cock for me.
When I couldn’t immediately find ChrisSwallows I went back inside, only to find him sort of lurking in the hallway just beyond the area where I was giving the “massage”. He’d been about to attempt a “sneak by” while we were occupied, but instead I brought attention to his presence, and invited him to gaze upon the beautiful cock that was waiting for him to devour it. Moments later he was burying it in his throat while I was sliding mine into the mouth of the . I dumped my load, and ma few seconds later he was dumping his down the eager throat of ChrisSwallows. Nothing involving him had been planned, or even discussed in advance, it just happened. As a result, the man had his first threesome, at 60+ / sixty plus years of age. And that, my friends, is a prime example / reason of why I have decided to give this job another try. Plus, I’m getting paid good money, so you really can’t complain, and I won’t.
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he hath returned
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Posted:Jul 13, 2023 11:20 am
Last Updated:Jul 21, 2023 5:24 pm 2423 Views
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Hopefully most of you took the time to find my TikTok and know this already, but for those who resisted I have some news: I am back! The off grid adventure was a massive failure, so I have returned to the starting line to get ready for another race. I’m definitely not finished yet.
This is not to say that I am back and have a ton of perverted stuff to share, but there will be a few things to tell you about. I managed to film over 2 / two dozen “off grid adventures” that are worth talking mentioning, and perhaps I can wrack my brain for a few other tidbits, but what it’s really going to be about in the near future is the battle to get my life back together. Probably won’t be sexy, might be entertaining, but I’ll be posting about it occasionally. I of course cannot predict the future so maybe there will be sexy stuff to write about. Stay tuned for more of that.
I’ve really missed writing, so you might see me back here quite a bit at first, until I get busy with a couple of jobs or life takes me some strange direction. My TikTok was a bit of a lifesaver, simply because it kept me occupied and motivated at times when I had absolutely nothing to do, and no interaction with people. The need to post, and the gratification of seeing people enjoy what I was saying or doing, helped a great deal. I’m still going to be there, posting on a regular basis, so I STILL urge you to check it out.
Going to cut it short for once (haha) and post again soon (I hope).
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things could be worse, I suppose
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Posted:Jun 4, 2023 11:27 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 12:57 pm 4356 Views
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A few nights ago I headed out in my van from Southern Oregon to Milwaukie, Oregon to visit friends, run errands and perhaps make a bit of cash working a few odd jobs. Things were going quite smoothly, and I admit to feeling pretty darn good in general when the transmission in the van went. I was perhaps 20 / twenty miles from my destination, it was the middle of the night, and in the end I just had to lean my seat back and nap until morning arrived and my friend Chris could help me out. He had the vehicle towed to the house we were sharing, right before I left for Southern Oregon, and I’ve spent the last few days here trying to figure out what to do. The transmission is shot and to replace it would cost more than I have, so I am returning to my land with no transportation. Chris will give me a ride there tomorrow, and then I will essentially be stranded. That’s a difficult situation to accept considering the nearest city where I can buy groceries and whatnot is 40 / forty miles away. I am very nervous.
Today I did enough grocery shopping that I hope to have food for an entire month in the back seat of the vehicle I borrowed. If not, I’m not likely to starve to death, but I’ll have to contact neighbors and ask if I can accompany them next time they go into town. That’s something I absolutely do NOT want to do, unless I have to, so hopefully my shopping was adequate. I grew up with a mother who could get enough food for us for a month but as soon as I became an adult I began shopping like a European, going virtually every day sometimes. Trying to plan for an entire month was tough, but I think I did okay. My previous attempts I only managed enough for a week, so I just tried to get 4 / four times what I normally would. No kidding.
Father is going to be an issue. No matter how far I have to travel to get it, I’m going to have to walk it back to my place. If you’ve ever tried to lug around 5 / five gallons of water you know it’s no easy thing, but add the terrain I’ll be walking, then throw in the fact that temperatures might be up in the triple digits at times and you get a potentially unpleasant task. If I want to survive, and be able to not only have enough to drink but also have water to bath and clean things like dishes and clothes, I better get used to it. Time is not the issue; what else do I have to do with my day except fetch water and whatever else comes with the territory of living off grid, in the middle of nowhere? I mean, technically I still have a great deal of building to do, but you get my point. If I have to devote a portion of a day to getting water, once or twice a week, so be it. Made the bed, going to lie in it.
I do worry that my phone will break and I won’t be able to communicate with anyone, but my neighbors are close enough that I can walk over to their house and ask to borrow theirs for a moment. They’re great people, and I know I can rely on them, just want to do it as infrequently as possible. Emergencies will arise, things will break, I’ll run out of food or something, but none of it is going to be too extreme I hope. In the end I am resigned to whatever happens, mainly because I have no choice, no real options, and don’t want to remain in a negative frame of mind if I can help it. What will be, will be, and I approach my fate with cautious optimism.
Before, I was going into town once a week or so, and was able to post at that time. Out on my land, I can use my phone as a hotspot but it works very poorly. So, it might be a very long time before you hear from me again - unless you head over to my TikTok. Did you really think you’d get through a post without me mentioning that? You’re so silly…
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delays, frustrations, improvisations
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Posted:Jun 3, 2023 3:20 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 12:57 pm 4154 Views
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The first few days on my land were pleasant, if a bit hot, and then the weather turned progressively worse for 10 / ten straight miserable days in a row. During that time there were many tasks I could not tackle or complete, mainly due to the rain and snow, so I was forced to improvise. Step number 7 / seven in my plan became next in line out of necessity, and before you know it I was busy enough to keep myself from going completely insane. This same flexibility and improvisational attitude have saved me many times over. I encountered so much rock at a certain depth while digging that I was not allowed to go as deep as I’d planned, which meant I needed to adapt and change my plan. Simple yet important things like this and the weather have seemed to plague me since I arrived, but I’ve kept going.
The question of whether or not this will pay off remains, and is not yet close to being answered. Further delays have brought things mostly to a standstill, but as before I am trying to utilize what might be empty time by taking care of tasks I hadn’t planned on facing until I was finished and moved into the dome. Things like filling the small(er) cracks in my brick wall with small(er) rocks was supposed to be a leisurely activity, done on a whim instead of being the next thing on the list to do because what I really want to be doing has been put on hold for a week. Since I cannot literally just hang out and relax in the tent, I strive to make every single moment worth something. From the time I get up until I go to bed I want to be responsible, productive, moving forward. Some days that is easy, some it has been nearly impossible, but it is my single-minded goal so adapting and improvising have become part of the process. Again, had I not been able to do so I would have probably gone insane with anger and frustration a week ago. It’s been an intense challenge but I feel I have risen to it, and the proof is in the simple fact that I am still here, getting up every day before the sun to see what I can accomplish. Want to join me?
By all means, keep stopping by here and reading, but the way to truly know what I am up to on a daily basis is to go to TikTok.
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an Alt exclusive!
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Posted:May 24, 2023 7:32 am
Last Updated:Jun 3, 2023 3:19 pm 4421 Views
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Okay, I made it sound important, but it’s just another blog post. A rare one, I’ll admit, but still nothing special beyond that.
The weather in my little slice of paradise went from hellish to heavenly, or something along those lines. The important thing is that I went from being absolutely miserable to at least tolerable. Truth be told, things here are all about extremes, so I am not exaggerating when I say that an afternoon where it reaches 104 degrees is normal. This is only the beginning of summer, so I am very curious about how much hotter it gets. Nights have still dropped into the high 30’s so I wake wearing layers but by mid-day am running around naked.
There’s not much I want to say that you couldn’t get if you stopped by my TikTok, except this: I have been filming some great porn! The lack of a sex life coupled with the absolute freedom to run around anywhere I want to without clothes on is unbeatable. Nobody is stimulating me, so a few days pass with no action whatsoever, and then the urge strikes and I have a fantastic time pleasuring myself. There’s a lot of footage of me walking around wearing a pair of sneakers, and nothing else, and my cock is undeniably enjoying the experience. I have to admit jerking off outside is kind of awkward, and can get messy. Everywhere you want to sit is dirty, and often the insects want to get in on the action as well. Yep, it’s as sexy as it sounds ha ha but there is definitely something erotic and liberating that I have had a blast recording snippets of, many times over the past couple of weeks. The sun came out, my clothes came off, the wind blew and my dick got hard.
But yes, I’m really just here to try and get you to go check out my TikTok. No, there’s absolutely zero adult content there for you to enjoy, it’s just an honest and sometimes entertaining look at this phase in my life. It’s an extension of the blunt, brutal honesty I provided and expressed here, minus the sex talk. Which, if you’d been reading my blog as of late wasn’t that much different. There’s no kink or eroticism or sex happening in my life unless it is a solo act, but as I said there’s been plenty of that going on. If I only had the reception or bandwidth or whatever I am lacking I would have quite a sexy series of videos up for sale right now. Maybe a day spent at the public library is in order. Until then you’ll have to settle for the TikTok post where I walk around naked and talk about how liberating the act is, all while making sure to keep the camera just above my belly button. I dare you to watch it and try to keep your eyes off the bottom of the screen.
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I'm off!!! (grid)
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Posted:May 18, 2023 8:02 am
Last Updated:Jun 4, 2023 11:27 pm 4390 Views
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Yes, ladies and gentleman, I am officially living in the middle of nowhere!
Over the past couple of weeks I moved to the 1.56 acres of barren desert land that I purchased in Southern Oregon, and have been slowly getting situated. It’s been a very busy, tough, stressful, exhausting time but I’ve managed to break ground, and according to my calculations might be making decent progress.
The trip here went smoothly, as did the unpacking of my van, and the truck that my friend ChrisSwallows drove. When he tried to leave, however, he got the rig high centered in the sandy shoulder and almost had to spend the night stuck there. A costly call to AAA eventually freed him, but that kind of set the tone. For the next few days things went well enough for me I suppose, but it’s all been a tough learning experience. The biggest lesson is that sound travels in the desert, and my particular area is plagued by not only birds, but dogs that make the “wrong” kind of noises day and night. In other words, it turns out this is not the paradise I had hoped, and needed it to be. This realization is devastating, but I refuse to give in just yet.
From now on things like power / electricity and internet / data usage are going to be very important to keep track of. As of this moment my TikTok channel is going full steam but the YouTube version is not. Hopefully that’ll be changing soon, but the point is that the channel is going to take precedent over most other things. Gone are those wasted moments surfing the web - I simply can’t afford it on both levels - I’ll be logging on just long enough to take care of business and that’s it. Heck, even sitting here composing this is going to produce a small negative on my energy budget, but it’s worth it. Once the season here officially changes to summer I won’t ever be running on a deficit, but lately the amount of sun hitting my solar panel has been unpredictable, and lacking. I’ve experienced everything from rain, heavy winds to oppressively endless sunshine, and temperatures ranging from 30 / thirty to 100 / one hundred degrees. No exaggeration! The last 10 / ten days have all been wet and cold though, and it’s starting to get on my nerves.
A great deal has happened, but it’s only on TikTok. Sitting down to write has been nearly impossible, but also not very appealing. The weather turned bad on me shortly after I arrived and it’s really been about making it through that, and also trying to make some progress on putting together my new life, every day. I cannot dig in mud, cannot build in rain, but most importantly can’t sit around and wait for the perfect weather either. I’ve been improvising, delaying plans, screaming my frustration into the skies, but unwilling to give up. Had I been doing daily updates here, my blog posts would likely be full of some serious negativity these last few days, but thankfully you’ll be spared that. Apart from this overly long bit of information I’m not sure when I’ll be “on” again so I’m filling it with as much as I can. My sincere hope is that anyone who still cares will take a moment to check out my TikTok because it is FULL, and I regularly put up a video 3 / three times a day. Plus it’s a completely different, much more personal and ultimately very real look at me, who I am, how I sound, how I handle life, what I’m thinking and planning and feeling…
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